Silk Collars
by SailorOfUranus
Summary: The sequel to Silk Leashes.
1. Chapter 1

The sequel to Silk Leashes.

Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Kim Possible does not belong to me.

* * *

Silk Collars 

By: Myself

**Affording Bondage**

* * *

"Are you sure this is necessary?"

"Absolutely."

"Now, see what you've done?"

"Silence, devil woman."

Kim signed, sliding the lock into place around the two metal bracelets that now held her two pets in bondage. Even now, locked to one another, they glared at each other, and nervously Kim watched them, wondering just when they'd start fighting again and how she'd break it up this time in a manner that was cause the least damage to their surroundings.

Did she turn the hose off completely from the last time or was it still running?

"Sorry guys, but Mom's tired of coming home to a ruined house. Last time you two fought, there was mud on the walls, the furniture even on the ceiling, and that's a mystery I'm still trying to solve. Until you two learn how to live in harmony, I'm leaving you handcuffed together."

To this Shego scowled, lifting the hand that was attached to Betty's own, and causing the older woman to grunt when the action in turn lifted her own hand.

"You gotta be kidding me, why do I have to live in harmony with her?"

"I just explained the reasoning to that--"

"What if I refuse to be in contact with her?" Betty interrupted, jerking both their arms back down as she narrowed her one working eye in steeled resolve.

"No good, us three, we're going to living together for….some unknown amount of time until Ivivian gets those laws pulled. There's no way I'm going to deal with this sort of behavior till then."

Kim sighed when she saw their faces, Shego with her expression of anger and Director with her expression of discomfort, but she wouldn't change her mind on this, she was going to teach these two a lesson and she'd be damned if they didn't get along at least a little bit after this.

After all, it worked with her and Bonnie? Well, no it didn't...

But it did open Kim's eyes to her trials and she, at least, understood her fellow cheerleader a little bit better.

Now, if only it would work on these two.

"Kimberly Ann," Betty mumbled, shaking Kim from her daydreams, "What if….what if one of us has to use the restroom facilities?"

Shego quirked a brow when she heard this question, not because of the question, rather because of Director's strange expression when she asked it. Was she blushing or something?

At first Kim inwardly scowled, she hadn't thought of that, but there was no way she was letting these two out of their punishment that easy, oh no, she'd show them who was master here and who was the pet in this relationship.

"I guess…one of you will just have to turn around and close their eyes."

"You're kidding me right?"

"No, Shego, no more kidding around, no more being nice and no more destroying the house. You guys sure don't act like pets and Dad's getting a little curious. If we don't shape up, if I don't act stricter, you'll both be destroyed, do you want that?"

"Well," She began, wondering if being destroyed or having to actually behave like a 'good doggy' was worse.

"No wells, Shegaroo. After graduation, if the law isn't gone by then, we're leaving."

"Leaving to where?" Director asked.

"Somewhere other then here, in this house. You know, I can't live here forever. I'm thinking, a nice apartment somewhere…"

Director frowned slightly, thinking about the situation, but before she had time to grasp the proper solution, Shego interrupted her.

"Graduation ain't but a few days away."

"Exactly, so clean up your act!"

Watching Kim storm away, the pair sighed together.

"Another fine mess you've gotten us into, Miss Shego. This is almost as bad as the time she took us for a walk and you 'got off the leash' by mistake to chase some neighbor's dog…with plasma fire. I'm sure it didn't mean to urinate on your foot."

"Eh, that dog was asking for it," Shego snorted before growing tense, "Hey…I gotta pee."

"Ugh!"

* * *

Shego pouted, she was bored and irritated and restless and she wanted to do something fun. Unfortunately, she was attached to a pile of dead weight, and at the moment, that dead weight was reading some book, in Russian for goodness sake! The least she could have done was pick something in English so she could read it over her shoulder, but no, that was Director for you, inconsiderate and rude.

Director had to pause in her reading every so often to cast Shego a wary glance, to make sure the woman was still beside her. After all, she'd never seen Shego so quiet and not up to something devious and inappropriate, it made her slightly uncomfortable. "You know Miss Shego; if you'd just pick up a book…You might be able to occupy yourself."

"Uh huh."

"Take up a hobby or something like that," Director continued, turning a page in her book and quirking a brow, obviously immersed in the words on the page, "Something that you can enjoy doing…That doesn't involve you touching me." Betty hurriedly finished, having caught the rather devilish look Shego suddenly gave her from the corner of her eye.

"I bet Kim would cuddle," Shego coo'd, rubbing her chin.

Betty hunched over, suddenly very interested in her book, "Yes well, I am certainly not Kimberly Ann. If you want to go cuddle something, I suggest you go find her."

"Well, I know you're not Kimmie, you aren't young, slender, a super heroine who dresses in tank tops, or red haired, unless you're hiding something from me."

"Do you know what I want to do with this book right now?"

"Set it aside so we can get it on? You know, really Betty, since we're going to be stuck together anyway—OW what the hell!"

"Oh would you look at that, my entire arm slipped this book upside your head."

"Oh is that so?" Shego asked, snarling at the same time as she rubbed the assaulted area, "Well, I think my fist might slip into your face."

"Oh really? You know, I was merely playing…why do you have that look in your eyes? You know you brought this on yourself and you shouldn't hold scissors like that—AHH!"

Really, it was the noise that had attracted Kim, not the horrible feeling in her gut, just the loud screaming and banging and the annoyed look of her parents had that made her climb the stairs with her hands balled into fists. If they were fighting up here, god help them. Though, once she reached the top she hesitated, she was afraid to keep going, to peek into her room and see what state those two women were in.

But she had to, because she was the Master after all, and they were the pets, why was she so afraid to finally take charge of the situation? After all she had newspaper in her room somewhere, and a spray bottle filled with cold water, which might have been lukewarm by now…

She could totally handle the situation.

"No biggie, " She whispered to herself.

But when she peeked into her room she gulped.

"This is a biggie."

Pillows were everywhere, covers and blankets disregarded and tossed against the walls, the table was flipped over, the one without her computer on it thank goodness, the lamp lopsided and for some reason her dresser now seemed on a slant.

But it wasn't the state of her room that caused Kim to slowly turn around and look again; rather, it was the state of her companions on the sheet-less mattress of her bed.

There was half nude Shego, panting, angry but triumphant, sitting on top of a rapidly cursing in Russian Director, her pants ripped, her shirt ripped, and sporting bite mark and claw marks all over her body. Her hair was in disarray and it looked like if Shego moved her clothing would just finish the job and fall right off. Yet Director, seemed completely absent of pants, sporting the same bites and claw marks all over her as Shego, but why was her blouse halfway open?

And the most surprising thing of all seemed to be the fact that Director had her hands bondage tied above her head with her own belt beneath the smirking Shego.

"Hah! That certainly didn't work in your favor now did it? This'll teach you to hit me on the ass with this thing now won't it? Won't it?! I don't just let you tie me up for tickles and giggles, though I do sometimes giggle. I've been learning how to turn this against you!"

And that bit of information did not make Director stop cursing or thrashing about.

"Yeah that's right; oh I do love it when a girl squirms."

"Do I need to get you guys spayed or something?" Kim interrupted, looking everywhere but at the pair on the bed. Focus on the room girl, focus on the room.

Because if she didn't focus on the room, she might focus on the fact that it looked like those two might have been having some sort of bestial and wild rough se—

"Kimmie! So nice to see you!"

"Like wise, I'm sure," Kim replied, strangely calm. She'd even stopped shaking with rage and she didn't look nearly as confused as she had before. She could handle this, she'd be okay. Why, even the room didn't look as dirty anymore.

Director finally stopped cursing, and even though Kim wasn't sure what the older woman had been saying, the way she'd said them with her harsh inflection had made them sound quite vulgar.

"Kimberly Ann," Betty began, embarrassed at her current state of undress but much too angry to show it, "If you wouldn't mind, could you please tell this savage to remove herself from my person."

"Who are you callin' a savage? You know, Director, I never really fancied you as a bottom before, but after being on top of you-"

"GET OFFA ME."

Kim smacked her forehead with a silent growl, listening to the sounds of an argument build once more. Maybe bonding them together had been a bad idea, but how else would they learn to get along? Sure, they seemed to work together when something important needed to be done, but what about everyday life? These two would drive Kim crazy if she didn't think of something and something soon. She'd have to move out, she thought, watching Betty somehow roll the both of them off the mattress and onto the floor with a thud, they'd go somewhere with wide open spaces. That way, they could play as rough as they wanted to.

Then it dawned on her. That was it! Maybe they weren't getting along because Kim wasn't taking this seriously. They were here as her pets, and sure she'd gone through the motions but had she really taken any real action? She kept seeing them as humans, stick them together and maybe they'll learn to get along, but these two were counting on her to really treat them like the animals they were (even if they didn't know it). No more compromising, no more thinking about how they'd feel or how humiliating making them do something would feel. No! She was the master and they were the pets, damnit, and it was time to get that straight.

It was time for some home training.

Cracking her knuckles Kim rushed to her strangely tilted desk, ignoring the head dents and the burned edges of the desk drawer she snapped it open, revealing her weapon a choice and turning around she slowly rolled it up.

Wielding the newspaper above her head she took a deep breath and charged forward.

It was show time!

* * *

Director yawned and whimpered, wincing as she stood in the center of Kimberly's bathroom in her large tiger printed shirt. Her hair was in disarray and her eye patch was missing, so her messed hair conveniently hid her usually hidden eye and the large shirt itched against the bruises she'd got from Shego the day before, though her butt was still sore from the thrashing Kim had gave them soon after. How could something as simple as a newspaper hurt so badly when swung at the right place?

She wasn't sure however, what hurt worse in the long run. The dull ache of her spanking or the loud obnoxious and strangely sexual singing of Shego in the shower? Glaring at the shower curtain that separated her from the woman within she sneered, her feet getting wet. What was she doing in there, and why was she taking so long? Her arm was staring to cramp from stretching it into the shower so that Shego could bath properly. The least Shego could do was stop splashing the hot water all over the floor where she stood and bathe quickly.

"Miss Shego, if you don't mind, could you please stop using _my_ hand to wash _your _breast?"

"Oh! This is your hand? I could have sworn it was mine!"

Betty stomped her wet feet against the ground, trying to hold back the words that wanted to escape her throat. She wouldn't let Shego get under her skin again; she was tired of being punished like a child for their fights. She was 29, an adult for goodness sake! She had better control then this! Instead, she'd fight back with her intelligence, her words. That was something Shego certainly didn't have!

Betty cleared her throat as she prepared to speak; "Miss Shego now, my skin tone is not a strange moss like green and further more--" Betty gulped then, narrowing her one working eye in confusion and growing fear, "…what…what are….."

Then she covered her face, trying to hide the growing blush that crawled across her cheeks. "Oh...Oh my goodness! I swear on Global Justice that better be a wash rag I'm touch!"

"I dunno if I should be insulted by that or not, Bottom Betty. When was the last time you felt a soft, smooth and warm washrag?"

No further words needed to be said then, Betty dove into the shower.

"AH! Haven't you ever heard of a little privacy? And what are you doing with that bar of soap?

"I'm going to clean your mouth out with it!"

* * *

Kim sat, contently, within the breakfast booth in the kitchen, leafing through the morning newspaper with purpose. Slowly, she drunk a cup of milk from one of her father's mugs, and smirked to herself. She felt like an adult already, and her father would have been so proud to see her looking so serious and business like.

Then again, when she was on her missions, she was always serious and business like.

There was a crash from upstairs and she thought she heard a scream but she frowned and shook her head when no further noise came.

Please, please, let them not be fighting.

"Hello, Kimmie-cub."

Glancing up from the newspaper she gave her father a smile, "Mornin' Dad."

"Whatcha doing there?" He asked, eyeing his daughter curiously as she smirked at him.

"Learning a bit of responsibility, I mean, besides what I've gained from the cat and dog. I'm looking for an apartment for us to live in."

"Oh? You and your pets?"

Kim slowly glanced over the edge of her newspaper then, looking at her father with a serious gaze. Did he disapprove? Or had he figured out her 'pets' weren't what they appeared to be.

"Well, so long as it isn't a man you're living with, it's okay. I'm so proud of you! You really are growing up!"

Kim released a breath she hadn't known she was holding as she watched her father walk away so that he could go to work. With her father gone her attention went back to the newspaper but she groaned in the end, looking at several prices of the apartment buildings. She couldn't afford staying there by herself if she had to do this, not on her Club Banana wage, and even then she had to buy food…and fire proof the rooms…

Reaching to her side she picked up the phone, dialing a memorized number before waiting for the other end to pick up.

"Heeeeeello!"

"Monique?"

"Hey, girlfriend! What's up? Taking me on another mission? Because, I'm going to have to decline. The last time was a little bit to much for me, you know, almost being made into a piece of clothing has that effect on you."

"No, no!" Kim said, rolling her eyes as she remembered the underground fashion incident, "Not another mission. I want to offer you a proposition."

"Oh? Spill it."

"How would you like to come live with me? I need a roommate and I can't stay in the house much longer unless I want it burned to the ground."

"Oh! Oh…oooh…I dunno, live with you and the destruction twins? I have a feeling there'd end up being huge holes in all our walls like they are at my house."

"I'm so sorry about that, Monique, but really," Kim pleaded, "Think of how fun it'd be. Sleepovers all the time! "

"Well…is Ron in on it too?" Monique asked, rather curious…

"Well, I was thinking about asking him. Do you think he'd be okay with it? He's afraid of Shego I think…"

Monique was more bewildered that Kim hadn't thought of how uncomfortable it might be for him to be in a house full of woman…you know, with Ron being a man and all. But that was Kim she supposed, not a perverted bone in that girl's body.

"Then, I'm taking Bonnie with me."

Kim gasped, spilling cold milk all over the table when she spit it out after hearing that statement.

"B-b-bonnie?! Are you serious! Why her? You're still talking to her?"

"Yes…" Monique replied slowly, "Breath girl, breath. I…like Bonnie, that isn't a problem is it?"

Kim cleared her throat and shook her head, but realizing that her best friend couldn't see the action she replied vocally, "No, no, no of course not. I'm sorry Monique, but you know how Bonnie is…to me, it was just a surprise is all. It's okay if your friends, so long as she pays her share she can live with us, I'll stomach her and be good I swear."

Monique released a small sigh, but left it at that. If Kim wanted to think that she and Bonnie were just friends, she'd let the teenage hero live in the illusion for awhile.

"Okay then, Kimmie-girl. I'll be your roommate."

"Great. I'll keep looking through the newspapers and talk to Ron. We're going to move immediately after Graduation."

"Why so soon?" Monique asked, before she winced when she heard a loud noise on the other end of the line.

Kim groaned as she watched a soaking wet Betty and a towel sporting Shego roll through the kitchen and then into the living room.

"Because I can't afford not to…."

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

The next chapter. Sorry it took so long for this one to come out. Was doing college finals.

Enjooooy.

Disclaimer: Kim Possible doesn't belong to me, but I sorta wish it did, I could use the money to pay off the college.

* * *

Silk Collars 

By: Myself

**Give Me Your Version**

* * *

Kim had been enjoying her day, greatly in fact. She had decided to settle down with Monique and seriously discuss the day and time they would move. Time was running out and while Shego and Director were suspiciously getting along now, Kim had a rather uneasy feeling that when they both finally snapped they would do it in a way that would drastically change the flow of the events that she wanted to take one step at a time. 

After all, even though Kim had planned on moving out of her house for awhile now, she would still miss the people within it. She wanted to gradually leave, not—

"So when exactly are you going to be kicked out of your house for your acts of debauchery?"

Kim grunted, giving Bonnie an exasperated look while Monique merely gave her a sheepish smile.

"I don't commit acts of debauchery, Bonnie…Monique did you have to bring her?"

"Well, Nie-Nie is part of the decision making process as well, since she decided she would like to live there too so--"

Bonnie decided at this time to slam her hands down on the food court table they were situated at to emphasize Monique's point.

"That's right, Possible, so you better get use to seeing a whole lot more of me!"

Kim gave out a great sigh. Nice, and here she was thinking she could leave baggage like this behind after she graduated. But, no, it was going to travel right along with her, and be in her face and hog her best friend's attention.

"The house has to be big, I want a lot of space so that I don't have to run into you and the weirdos. We must have ten servants so that whenever one is busy another can always replace it."

"Where is all the money for all that stuff suppose to be coming from?" Kim asked, giving Bonnie a look, "Is your mother paying for this? You know, Bonnie, money really doesn't grow on trees, just the stuff they make it out of. "

"She's a big dreamer," Monique whispered, rolling her eyes as she rubbed the side of her neck.

Kim eyed Monique for a minute, as if to beg her to keep Bonnie quiet, after all it was her job and responsibility to take care of the snobbish and naïve girl.

Monique seemed to reluctantly give in, tossing Kim a mischievous look. While giving a shrug she gently tapped the table, coughing against her balled up fist, "So, you like the one with the garden in the back, then?"

"Yes," Kim hesitated before popping the cap off the red marker in her possession and drawing a wide circle around the mentioned apartment, "It's got the needed space and all the necessities. The rent's low too."

"Suspiciously low," Monique said.

"Rats, mice, and roaches live there low," Bonnie added.

Kim only grumbled, gathering up the papers, "I doubt it. We'll check out the place before we really decide, anyway. It'll be fine; the place is great I bet! We'll head out tomorrow morning."

Monique and Bonnie stood at the same time, Bonnie with an expression of disgust and skepticism and Monique with her friendly smirk.

"So, we're heading back to your place for dinner than?"

Kim nodded to this, though she continued to eye Bonnie warily, who seemed suddenly docile and small next to Monique's confident frame. Just what was their relationship exactly, just what went on when she didn't see them? She wanted to ask, and then she didn't want to ask. She felt embarrassed for even thinking their relationship went beyond friendship, but sometimes she did wonder. Why would Bonnie continue to allow herself to be seen as Monique's 'pet'? And why did Bonnie seem so subconsciously submissive around her?

There was something about them, something that Monique did that was so subtitle even she couldn't catch it, but whatever it was Bonnie caught and reacted to it.

Maybe, just maybe, if she could learn whatever it was Monique did, she could control Shego and Director in the same fashion.

Catching the strange looks Kim was given them Bonnie sneered, arms crossing just beneath her chest, "What?"

Kim rolled her eyes, thoughts erased and curiosity forgotten.

"Nothing, let's go."

* * *

Kim blinked. "What the hell is going on."

Slowly, Monique lifted her hand, using it to cover the site of a wide eyed Bonnie, whose mouth fell open at the display in the Possible living room.

"This isn't meant for young eyes," Monique mumbled before gasping and groaning out a 'Aw!' when she found her own vision suddenly blocked by Kim's hand.

"It isn't meant for yours either!" Kim snarled.

The living room was a mess, which wasn't unusual. It seemed that whenever Kim left her house when she returned the living room would be in shambles, courtesy of her two companions. So, it wasn't the living room's state that alarmed and startled her. It wasn't even shocking that Shego and Betty were chained to the coat rack, not in the least. Rather, it was the state of the women, the fact that Shego was wearing nothing but two strategically placed pillows, that Betty was in what appeared to be the remains of a once beautiful and expensive towel, and last, that her Mother seemed to be fuming in what was left of her personal and rather favorite robe.

Though, not even these elements combined seemed to be the exact reason Kim felt her knees go weak and her gut knot with dread.

It was the look of her father, his stern and serious expression, as he stood in the center of his ruined living room.

"Kimmie-cub, I've got some serious things to tell you."

Kim felt the color drain from her face as she wrung her hands together, "Oh?"

"Yes," Her father took a deep breath then, before slowly releasing it, "I'm going to have to put down the dog and the cat."

"What?!" Shego exclaimed, yanking at her bound wrists. She snarled when she heard a faint snigger coming from the eye covered Bonnie, but smirked when the woman was silenced with a pinch from Monique.

Monique gave off a long sigh, she couldn't see a thing! The fun in the moment was rapidly disappearing and the situation had turned serious. She wished she could try and console her friend, but she couldn't even see how Kim was reacting! Instead, to sate her own curiosity, Monique asked, "Why?"

"They destroyed the house, which isn't unusual, but they also attacked my wife!"

"I wasn't really attacked--"

"Don't listen to her; she's still shocked from the trauma of it all."

Kim shook her head; she couldn't even look at them. She felt embarrassed and disgusted, and beneath that disgust was a growing anger.

"What happened."

"Well--"

"Dad, I want to hear it from them."

Shego looked nervous for a moment, glancing from left to right. Kim didn't look all that happy with her or the current situation. There was no way she was saying a thing, let Betty do the talking for once.

"Shego."

Well, she guessed she could talk a little bit.

"Okay you see, I was sitting down minding my own business…."

* * *

Shego yawned and stretched out on the couch, relishing the freedom of being separated from Betty. Finally, after two weeks of struggling and getting along with that woman through forced cheerfulness Kim had decided that her method had worked. It had, a little, but not as much as Kim thought it had. Shego would behave herself a little bit, she figured, for Kim's sake and maybe for Director's too.

Maybe.

Glancing at the ceiling of the house she heard the shower go off and turning around so that she reclined on her back she continued to relax. There would be no accounts of mischief today! Shego was being a good girl; she was always a good girl.

Closing her eyes for a moment she daydreamed. Bunnies ran freely in fields of green while unicorns leapt over one another in search of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow—

* * *

"Miss Shego," Director interrupted, frowning as she did so, "I don't believe the description of you're daydream is relevant to the actual story…"

Shego sneered, "I don't go around telling you how to tell a story, do I?"

"Shego!" Kim yelled.

"Okay, okay. Moving on."

* * *

It wasn't until she heard the voice of her fellow companion that she opened her eyes. Blinking them innocently she glanced at Director and gasped!

"What are you doing?"

Betty grinned darkly, seductively, and leaned over, flashing Shego the top of her breasts.

"You--"

* * *

"H-h-h-hold on a minute," Betty squealed, yanking at her bound wrists that hung from the top of the coat racks lowest arm, "That most certainly did not happen. It did not!"

Shego grinned slyly, "Oh you liar, you. How could you keep the horrible and unnatural sex kitten in you a secret?"

As Director began to embarrassingly babble angry gibberish in Russian to a laughing Shego, Monique gave off a snort of disbelief, "I can't picture Director acting…like…that."

While Kim sometimes had her doubts about those two, Kim knew for a fact that Director seemed to ignore or shrink away from anything remotely sexual, "Yeah, I don't believe that part for a second. I should have known better than to ask Shego for details."

Bonnie, who was unsure about the entire ordeal and rendered blind from Monique's hand over her eyes only silently snarled in agitation.

"Betty, your turn."

Giving Shego one last hiss she turned away from the woman, missing when Shego stuck out her tongue in retaliation because she had closed her eyes to take a deep breath.

"While, some of what that devil woman said was slightly true, that last part was completely inaccurate, what had happened was…"

* * *

Director leaned over, mistakenly flashing Shego the top of her breast, but her expression was not seductive, though one could have said it was dark.

One could have also said it was a downright enraged look in that one uncovered eye the older woman had.

Whipping a wet hand forward she sprayed Shego with tiny droplets of water that still slid off her body to dampen the floor. It seemed as if she hadn't had time to really dry off properly and peering through wet chunks of short cut hair, (amazingly enough there was enough wet hair to completely cover her other eye, which was usually covered anyway) she sneered, "You…are going to die a horrible death before being sent down to the very bowls of hell. I hope Lucifer has a good time impaling you on his pointy fork!"

"I think Lucifer is a woman actually," She replied, blinking up at Betty with false innocence, "After all, the sort of things she does can't be done by a man, they don't really have the creative drive to do some of the artful things she does."

"What do you mean? There were a lot of good male artist….Don't try to change the subject…"

Betty backed up when Shego sat up, the other woman was grinning a little too widely for her tastes.

"So what brings you down here in such a state?"

"You know very well, what brings me here. That sick joke you left in the shower with me!"

"Ooo, you mean that Pandaroo thing?"

* * *

"You put Pandaroo in the bathtub?!" Kim screamed.

Shego twitched before she frowned, "It needed a bath…"

"It's a stuffed toy, you don't bathe stuffed toys," Bonnie said.

"You tell that to Kimmie."

"I don't put my cuddlebuddles in the shower! They're dry clean only!"

"Oooo, so that would explain why it shrunk up."

"It did WHAT?"

"Keep goin', Director!"

* * *

"Yes that...that thing! Why was it in there? I nearly slipped and fell."

"Oh yeah, wouldn't want you to break your hip or anything like that, you are getting on in age."

"I am not getting old! People in their late twenties are not old. Why am I standing here discussing this with you anyway? I demand you go remove that monstrosity from the bathtub so that I may finish."

"You just want to get me into the shower with you," Shego said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Why must you turn everything I say into a perverse fantasy…"

Suddenly, the sound of running water caused both woman to glance toward the upstairs, Betty with an expression of disappointment, and Shego with her usual expression that screamed she was up to no good.

"Whose in Kimmie's room, Director?"

"There shouldn't be anyone, why do you ask?"

Shego gave Director a sly look, "You lair you…did you sneak someone up there with you? Is Will up there, naked and wanting, droplets of water slowly sliding off his pearly white skin, standing alone in the shower? How could you leave him up there all by himself, just waiting to be discovered by Kimmie? For shame!"

Shego felt an inner satisfaction from Betty's expression. She always looked so cute all red and speechless!

In the end the older woman mumbled something beneath her breath about an age gap and impurity.

So, Shego changed her tactics, "Or…is that one of your female employees?"

Slowly Betty gave Shego a look that could have killed her had the woman possessed such an ability. It was a look that only made Shego want to push her further. After all, flustering the woman was just as much fun as pissing her off.

"In fact, I recently heard from Villains Weekly's spy scoop that some super smart blonde joined up with your little backyard gang. What was her name….Veronica,Victoria…."

"Dead."

"No no, I'm pretty sure that wasn't her name….Oh wait, I got it! Vivian!"

"You're dead!"

* * *

"Do I even have to guess what happened from there," Kim said, giving Shego a rather dirty look before turning her gaze back to Betty.

"Well, there is more…"

"She assaulted me! I was only trying to confirm something."

"Something that really wasn't your business but, please, go on." Monique mumbled, her eyes still covered up by Kim.

"And make it quick, I'm tired of being without vision!"

"Shutup, Bonnie." Monique and Kim said in unison.

* * *

"Vivian Porter, is that who you have up here?" Shego cackled, taking the stairs to Kim's room two at a time in order to avoid the angry Global Justice leader behind her.

"Your death is what I have up here!" Betty panted, leaping over three steps just to make up for the distance Shego was gaining on her, but it was hard to run around wet with nothing but a towel on. Everything was slippery and there was no way she was falling back down all those stairs.

Shego paid Betty no mind, rounding the corner so that she could burst into the bathroom. There came a feminine squeal when she did so and Shego grinned.

"So you DO have another person in here! What's the matter? Didn't like how the Pandaroo was staring while you practiced your horrific dark and perverse lusts?"

"I don't have lusts!" Betty screamed.

Shego ran over to the shower curtain, practically dancing as she ripped it back and away. "Than what is this!" She cried.

"Wait, don't!" Betty said, reaching out to keep Shego from opening the curtain, but instead she slipped, colliding awkwardly with the green skinned woman and sending both of them into the shower.

Shego grunted, lucky for her she'd landed on top of something soft and slowly she propped herself up and lifted a hand to remove wet locks of hair from her face. However, what she saw beneath her made her grow pale with fear.

Betty groaned as she slowly sat up, pushing away from Shego's upturned bottom and wrinkling her nose in annoyance. "I told you to….wait…" Betty gawked before immediately covering her eyes. "I apologize!"

"Doctor P?"

* * *

"W-w-wait…" Kim stuttered, looking from a blushing Director to her mother, who looked equally uncomfortable, "You two were…..in the shower together?"

"Absolutely not!" Kim's mother shouted, clearing her throat, "I answered that a little to fast didn't I?"

Ignoring the strange looks she received she adjusted her tattered robe.

"Your father, Kim, he hadn't called the plumber like I'd told him to three days ago to get the hot water fixed in the main bathroom so…I decided to take a quick shower in your bathroom."

"Exactly," Director whispered, more to herself than the actual group, "I was not in the shower with Kimberly Ann's mother, I was not, I was not!"

Shego only smirked, "So you keep saying…"

Clearing her throat once more Ann Possible said, "I'll take it from here, I don't want there to be anymore sort of misunderstandings for the rest of this story."

* * *

Ann groaned as she looked at the other two women in the shower with her and blinking past her own wet locks of hair she turned her gaze between Betty to Shego…then down to her nude body.

"A…ahn…." Ann gawked, her eyes slowly growing wide in surprise and embarrassment.

"M-Miss Possible! I assure you I tried my best to keep this beast from revealing your nudity!"

"Who the hell are you calling a beast?"

"G-g…get…"

"You, you beast!"

"Do you want this soap in your eyes?"

"G…get…."

"Miss Possible?"

"She looks all red…."

"GET OUT!"

Betty was the first to leap out of the shower, wet towel and all, slipping and sliding on the tile before she twisted around with a surprised expression. Shego was the second, stumbling and flipping over the side of the shower to land scrambling on all fours over to Betty's legs.

"W-what the hell! What's that evil aura surrounding her?"

"It's more like an aura of rage, I think, Miss Shego."

Dr. Ann Possible jerked back the curtain of the shower, her face twisted in embarrassed anger. "Don't you two know how to knock?!"

Nearly forgetting her nudity, not that it mattered since Shego and Betty had seen just about everything anyway, she ripped her robe off the rail beside the wall, sliding into it without drying off.

"Uh well…I er…you see…" Shego began, though felt strangely nervous as she rose to her feet. Instead, she slipped behind Betty and using one had she shoved her forward. "This is really all her fault, you know."

"How so?!"

"Well, if you really wanna know--"

"Bad," Ann interrupted, taking a towel and twisting it around and around, "Bad girls!"

"She's not gonna do what I think she's gonna do is she?"

Not giving Betty a time to answer Shego's question Ann whipped her hand forward, snapping the twisted towel at Betty's exposed thigh.

"YEOW!"

"Well that answers that."

Betty needed no further evidence before she promptly left Shego in the bathroom.

"You're just gonna leave me here? That's no way to treat your companion!" Shego turned around, yelling at the backside of the retreating Global Justice leader before she yelped, feeling the string of the twisted towel on her rear end.

Quickly Ann twisted the towel again while Shego rubbed her burning backside. Glancing over her shoulder Shego gave Ann a nervous smile, "A-heh heh eh….I didn't really mean to expose you and everything. It was a mistake! No hard feelings right?"

"Bad dog," Was all Ann mumbled before she charged forward…

* * *

Ann sighed, "That's the gist of it…"

Dr. Possible snorted as he crossed his arms over his chest, "Then I came home to find the three of them wrestling in the center of my living room! They were attacking her!"

"Technically, she was attacking us," Shego mumbled, but her words went unheard.

"Dad…" Kim said, but she was interrupted.

"Kimmie, tell your friends to go outside…we need to talk."

Gulping she removed her hand from Monique's eyes, who in turn removed her hand from Bonnie's eyes while giving Kim a sympathetic look. "We'll be outside."

Wordlessly Bonnie followed Monique, sparing Kim any sort of snide comments. Kim was relieved and surpised at the dominance Monique still held over the girl, even though this was the perfect opportunity to make fun of her. Or maybe, just maybe Bonnie was giving Kim a break.

No, couldn't be that…

* * *

Monique felt nervous for Kim; she'd never seen her best friend's father look so serious. Bonnie on the other hand merely sneered; she didn't want to be here, caring about Kim's strange perverted business.

"Nie-Nie," Monique said, glancing toward the woman that was her pet, her best friend's enemy, and her unsteady lover, "You shouldn't give Kim such a hard time you know. You look and pretend to be so uncomfortable around the actions her and her friends do but…" Monique smirked, lifting a hand to pull down the collar of her blouse, "If Kim knew the sort of things you did behind closed doors…"

Bonnie's face grew flushed as she stared at the neat little bite mark on Monique's collar bone. "Shhh! I-it's not my fault, I didn't do that."

"Well, I most certainly didn't do it!" Monique replied, voice dead pan as she allowed the collar of her blouse to hide Bonnie's little 'mistake' once more.

"We're all going to be living together, so you better swallow your pride…or do I have to 'discipline' you again?"

Monique didn't think Bonnie could get any cuter as she fidgeted and blushed.

"Then again, you might like that to much."

"WHAT?"

The sound of the door opening prevented Bonnie from saying anything else and she held her breath as she saw Kim exit the house. Monique stared at her friend with concern on her face, she and Bonnie had been standing outside for a good 20 minutes, just what had gone on within that time?

Shego exited soon after fully dressed and scowling while a solemn dressed Betty followed.

"I've been kicked out," Kim mumbled, staring hard at the ground around her feet. Why did all the bad things have to happen to her?

"O-oh…Oh! Don't be so sad, Kim. You can stay with me!"

Kim shook her head, "I'm not ready to leave just yet though…but they won't let me stay…so long as those two do."

Shego jerked at the tone in Kim's voice before snorting and looking elsewhere. She would not feel bad for what she'd done; she would not feel like she was a burden to Kim, even though, at the moment, she felt very much like one.

Bonnie only stared on in silence, what could she say? What could she do?

"I have to move out in two weeks if I don't get rid of Shego and Betty…this isn't enough time to save enough money to move into that apartment we wanted, Monique. I'm sorry."

Betty bit her bottom lip in thought before glaring toward Shego. They couldn't leave, per say, otherwise, they'd be in a whole world of trouble, yet, Betty had an idea.

"Apartment? Forget about it," The Global Justice leader said, "I owe you my life, Kimberly Ann. I wouldn't allow you to live in such a thing and Shego would just get us kicked out anyway."

"Hey!" The green skinned woman growled, but Betty continued on.

"You will live at my estate; it's under someone else's name so…you won't have to worry about the fact that…Someone with my current status owns it. Once there, I will sign the property over to you…and your friends."

The shocking silence that continued on afterwards caused Director to believe she'd done something wrong, but when she was suddenly hugged by the smaller red head, she knew she'd done something right.

"Thank you!"

"An estate?!" Bonnie blurted out, clearly happy and excited and Monique smiled, mirroring the current happiness that had lifted the gloomy mood of the group.

Shego only smirked, "Good job, Director."

"I do try my best."

Releasing Betty from her sudden impulsive hug she reached up, patting Betty on the head and causing the older woman to grunt and blush as Shego laughed.

"I'll go tell my parents."

Leaving the group outside Kim entered the house.

It didn't take long for Kim to steel herself and tell her parents of her plans and they accepted and approved of them, when Kim returned from the house back outside to join her friends she could hear her Father's voice fading in the background as she began to close the door.

"Now that that is taken care of… Ann, this is the second time I've walked in on you nearly nude on the ground with two other women!"

An awkward silence ensued as the door shut firmly behind Kim.

"I'm…not even going to ask about that."

"Excellent use of control, Miss Shego, excellent use."


	3. Special 1

Sorry for the long wait again. I've been working on some other stuff and going to anime cons on top of work and college, but you know how it is. With my time opening and my muse not being lazy anymore, I should be able to get out some more stuff as well, (like some chapters to my other fics, like my Azumanga one and Feudal Punishments). Until I get the actual next chapter out, enjoy this short little special.

This segment is for those of you who wondered just what Mr. Possible was talking about…

Disclaimer: Kim Possible does not belong to me, if it did…well, it certainly wouldn't be on Disney.

* * *

Silk Collars

By: Myself

**That Was Not My Fault - Special**

* * *

The event that had taken place a few weeks ago had been categorized as, in the mind of the brain surgeon, an embarrassing disaster. It was only made worse by the fact that her husband had refused to be silent on the subject after it had taken place for, not just a few hours, but at least four days afterwards. It hadn't made her humiliation any less…well, humiliating. There would be a moment when they were settled and silent, she rereading her expensive college medical books (because, when books cost at least 200 dollars an edition, it was good to make sure you read it 200 times), he reading his usual morning paper, and collectively the both of them peacefully thinking about the amazing progress of their super heroine child when Mr. Possible would suddenly blurt out something totally irrelevant to the current mood like:

"When we got up this morning I almost didn't recognize you with any clothes on."

Or…

"I wonder if any of the inappropriate naughtiness you do here you also do at work."

For a while, she'd assumed he was upset whenever he made such comments. She had been feeling rather guilty about the situation she had allowed herself to take place in and for him to have walked in on it…

Just like that last time…

But after a while she realized that she really had nothing to feel guilty about, after all, it wasn't like she'd been doing 'this' or 'that' with Kimberly's companions (for, unlike her husband, she knew Shego and Elizabeth were not 'animals' but people and to call them 'pets' and treat them as such felt a little silly to her, despite the false law floating about that made such actions a must. How anyone, including her husband, could be naïve to the fact that Kim had one grown woman and one nearly grown woman sleeping in the same room as her doing only Global Justice knew what was beyond her and it hurt her head to think about how her husband perceived reality), she had merely been disciplining them, or had been attempting to anyway. It wasn't her fault that James had decided to come home for lunch that day and had jumped to all sorts of conclusions about the affairs she had been conducting that day.

Though, she couldn't deny that she had been rather impressed (and a bit scared) when James handled the situation with about as much authority and grace as an experienced drill sergeant. He'd smoothly separated all three of them without effort or anger and she swore he'd been, dare she admit it, a bit amused at the situation.

Now, looking back on the event, the part where he'd daringly rescued her from the rabid 'dog' and 'cat' had been kind of…well hot (here in thought, she paused and snorted to herself. She was thinking like a libido ran teenager. The ability to use that word in such a way shouldn't have even been in her inner English dictionary anymore). Who would have known he could use a leash like that? Why, she wouldn't have minded being bound to the—

Okay, okay, back on track girl, back on track.

Sexy husband's bondage skills aside, his constant teasing was starting to grate on her nerves and she had a feeling he was waiting for some sort of explosive behavior from her otherwise, he wouldn't be goading her like this.

Like the last time…

However, while she had been passively enduring the joking and slightly perverted taunts of her husband, she could only take so much in two weeks time. The final straw had been taken place earlier that day and suddenly, giving him obviously what he wanted (she could hear his delighted chuckling as she slammed the door) she left the house to wander around the park in search of some sort of peace of mind.

During that walk she had received a text message (because, what mother wouldn't have a cell phone in this day and age to keep track of their 18 year old super heroine daughter?), though she hadn't recognized the number and while her first instinct was to instantly delete the message—it could have been something uncouth like porn or a chain letter, she'd gotten those before unfortunately—she naively opened it instead.

_Come to the usual place and bring the stuff, you know who this is and what I'm talking about. Do not be late, I don't tolerate unpunctuality and I have very little patience._

_I._

"How cryptic…I? Is that meant as a letter or a roman numeral?" She whispered while pocketing the cell phone and turning back toward the direction of her home, "Well, I don't really have a choice…and it has been a long time…I could use this."

So, two hours, a shower, and one long car drive later she found herself standing before the impossibly tall gates of a large estate. It was intimidating and impossibly huge compared to her own noble housing and at some point she had to stop craning her head back least she suffer some sort of neck trauma. So, with a sigh and a reserved sort of feeling settling in the pit of her stomach she hit the small square and white button that would announce the owner of the home of her presence.

_Who is it_.

While she knew the words were meant to be structured as a question, it sounded more like a demand. Coupled with the cold, agitated, and harsh tone of the accent the voice possessed it might have been a little menacing in the face of loiters, Jehovah Witnesses, and solicitors, but Ann didn't even wince, if anything she smirked. Besides, she knew the true power of the voice being muffled through the technology of the speaker, it was much worse in person and only if it was directed toward you.

Pressing the red square button besides the white she replied, "It's Red."

There was a snort of displeasure.

"You're late. You know how I dislike tardiness."

"Is Green there?"

"No…"

"Then, I'm not really late am I? You're only late if Green gets there first."

There was no further reply except for the loud sound of the gate being unlocked and automatically opening. Ah, the wonders of technology.

Stepping past the massive gates and ignoring their loud clang as they shut behind her she jogged up the winding, unnecessary pathway to the home she had been staring down just a few moments ago. Really, she thought, who walks down this thing and thinks 'wow, I'm so glad I had this long 20 minute pathway to our home installed so that everyday I leave or invite company over I can relish the beauty of our landscape'. Not that the lawn in question wasn't beautiful, with it's various gargoyle, mythical beast, and fountain statues, but after seeing such things so many times…well…

The door was open when she arrived and once she crossed the threshold she couldn't help but pause to take in the beauty of the inside of the home she only got to see so often. If it was one site she couldn't get bored from seeing, it was the inside of this home.

"Don't stand there with your mouth wide open, you'll catch flies."

Looking away from the large stairwell, the hanging chandelier, and the crystal banisters and other various decorations of those who held wealth she turned her head in the direction of the being who'd spoken.

"You sound more and more like my mother everytime I see you."

There was a snort from the direction the voice had come from and with a sigh Ann began to move down the hallway, searching for the familiar room they always meet within. Though, she had half a mind to take a peek at the expensive paintings that hung from the walls on her way down there, just to agitate the person who have told her to come here so rudely, she decided—after hearing a groan of frustration from the room she was approaching—that it was probably best to kick her butt into gear.

Just like in her memories, the room was gorgeous. It was small, but the way everything was spaced out made it seem incredibly huge. The ceiling was bowled outward and several lights hung from it to give the area a comfortable feeling. The lights illuminated the various leather chairs, the long couch up against the wall, the pool table in the center of the rooming, and the fancy bar on the opposite wall of the couch. This room, in all its hideously expensive glory, was a lounge for entertaining company, but today the comfortable leather chairs had been pushed aside, the pool table up against an open wall, and in the center of the room was a simple card table, three metal chairs, and the person who had demanded her presence.

"Well? Let's get this over with."

"You act like you don't enjoy our time together, Ivy."

The woman, 'Ivy', tilted her head to the side while allowing her site to wander toward a wall, fingertips stroking the nose of the black dragon's head cane that leaned against a crossed leg in thought about the question, however, it wasn't long before her solemn square-framed glasses covered gaze returned to Ann as she revealed a small smirk on her freckled face but otherwise, she wouldn't be getting any answers to such a question out of the elegant Russian CSI involved woman.

"Where is your friend?"

Ann sighed to this, moving to take her place on a side of the table on a metal chair. Grunting at the uncomfortable sensation she removed a simple deck of cards from her pocket and began to shuffle them as she leaned over the table.

Each card was moved with diligent care and skill. Her fingers, while experienced with doing delicate work on the brains of other people, also seemed to be able to gracefully manipulate and bend the playing cards to her will. If she hadn't gone to college to be a surgeon she might have been a dealer at some locale casino.

But, say that to her face and she might have become offended.

"She's your friend too."

"Is she?" Ivivian asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she shifted her tired legs and uncrossed them to stretch them beneath the table. "Always so late, so…so rude, not abiding by times and deadlines."

"Well, the message you sent was pretty bland, maybe she didn't know you sent it. You even forgot the usual 'D' you have after your 'I'."

"I was in a rush, had a meeting earlier today about something the children did."

"Yours or mine?"

"Both, I think." Here Ivivian narrowed her eyes as if trying to recall exactly what the headlines on the newspaper had said.

"'Green skinned terror blows up beautiful park landscape accompanied by eye patch wearing beast. The owner of the strange animals denied speaking on the subject when asked about it, simply replying with 'I plead the fifth'."

"Were you drinking tea when you saw that?"

"Yes."

"Did it explode out of your mouth and go everywhere?"

"Yes…but that is not the point of this conversation."

Despite that, Ann found herself laughing, hard, and annoyingly, which made the woman across from her twitch as she adjusted her glasses.

"A-hah. Hah. Hah…"

"Sorry, sorry. Okay, I'm fine. Just imagining it is all."

The sound of the door slamming shut caused Ann to jerk and Ivivian to leap to her feet. There was a loud obnoxious laugh then, and with a sigh of frustration Ivivian collapsed right back into the chair she had so eagerly leapt from.

"That happy to see me? It's been a long time since I've seen you jump out of your chair for me." The new arrival called from the threshold of the door as she swung around a pair of keys with one finger.

"Miss Ivanova…." Ivivian mumbled, sweeping her hand out toward the last remaining seat at the table while Ann grinned broadly toward the long black haired woman, "Please have a seat, we need to discuss some things."

"Hi, Minnie!"

Ignoring Ivivian's usual blunt business mood Minerva Ivanova took the last remaining seat to the left of the older woman. Despite her slightly grey highlighted hair, Minerva was nearly an exact copy of her infamous daughter, minus the green skin of course. The woman in question leaned back in the old uncomfortable metal chair, grimacing before she rose and dragged it into a corner of the room.

"What are you doing?" Ivy asked, watching her with a curious yet wary stare.

Grunting as an answer, Minerva shoved and pushed one of the large, expensive, and yet probably more comfortable leather chairs up to the table, settling into it with a sigh of relief and a chuckle of defiance.

"Making myself at home, Ivy." Minerva wittily replied as fingertips moved to take off the simple brown cap that hit her unruly and slightly spiked locks of hair. Her jacket too, was taken off swiftly and tossed over the shoulder of the chair but for some strange reason she kept the green scarf around her neck on as she settled back into the chair, comfortable finally, at last.

"This is not your home, so you can unmake yourself."

"How come you get a leather chair?" Ann suddenly whispered, pouting all the while toward the woman across from her.

"Because I'm the leader, I'm Green."

"Green was not the leader, Red was."

"Oh lord please, not this…anything but this."

"I'm the leader! I've always been the leader; you do not have the qualifications to lead!"

"I'm the youngest and thus I have the spirited energy that is necessary to lead."

"Aha! But you lack the experience, young ranger, as a woman who is older than you are I shall lead."

"If we go by older and experience…" The CSI woman interrupted, staring toward the cards that were being clutched in the determined and 'energized' Possible's hand, "Then wouldn't I be the leader?"

"No," Minerva replied, leaning back with the very smirk her daughter often displayed, "Because you are Pink and Pink does not lead."

"Why the hell do I have to be Pink!" The older woman suddenly exploded, slamming her hand down upon the card table in a fashion Ann found familiar and suddenly she had the sensation that an old argument was rising, "I should have at least been able to be Blue or White, why can't I be White?"

"Because White is a variation of Green."

"That makes no sense! Why am I even discussing this? I'm tired of this game! I refuse to be referred to that ridiculous code name any longer!"

"What? You can't just up and do that, Pink! We need you, how will we be able to complete the College Rangers without you?"

"I am not in college anymore, and neither are you or her!"

Ann almost fell out of her seat dodging the finger that was suddenly pointing right at her eyeball.

"Oh memories…" She wistfully sighed. This was sort of like the last time, how that had started…and then James…

Ann coughed politely, catching the attention of both the older woman who both seemed to calm down and cease further argument, after all, they were adults, it wasn't as if they were their children or something.

"I should have never let Nathaniel import that damn Japanese scout show."

"It's rangers, not scouts." Minerva slyly corrected.

Slowly Ann began to pass out the cards, shaking her head, some things never changed and some things got passed down through generations.

"How is that thing coming anyway?" Minerva suddenly broke the silence between them as she started whatever game they were playing for the evening, tossing down a card and snickering as Ivivian tossed down a card she could use against her later.

"Not to good, I'm hitting road bumps and I don't want to bother Nathaniel about them, not really, he's so busy these days. Ah, and thank you for informing me about it, if I'd of let that go on any longer there might have been trouble."

"No problem," Minerva replied, "Besides, there's no way I'd let my Shelly Ann get hurt over something silly your children do."

Still to this day, whenever Ann heard Shego's true name, she couldn't help but snigger.

Shelly Ann Ivanova… No wonder she changed her name to Shego.

"My children? What about that time all your boys turned evil or something? That and your daughter is an evil world wanted thief. That seems pretty silly to me."

"Hush hush." Minerva coughed.

Suddenly, both Ivivian and Minerva looked toward Ann, who lifted her head from her playing cards and blinked rather slowly.

"Hm..? Oh oh! Yes well, both of your children ran into me in the shower a few weeks ago and because of that not only has my husband kicked them out, including our daughter, but he's also been teasing me about it at every turn! If anything, both of you cause me trouble still, indirectly or not."

There was a strange awkward silence afterwards.

"Oh….hey that sounds like that time—"

"Don't," Ivivian interrupted, slapping down another card as she cleared her throat and worked quickly to change the subject, "They're living in my daughter's estate right now, I wouldn't worry about them, I'll be paying them a little visit sooner or later to make sure they're settled and what not, I'll watch after your Kimberly."

"I knew they'd be alright," Ann said, suddenly throwing down all her cards and causing both her companions to groan in defeat.

"You know," Minerva said, grinning like a cat who had uncovered some sort of rare cream, "That time, wasn't my fault."

"But all the times before then most certainly were." Ivy mumbled, narrowing her gaze at the cards in her hands before lifting her glasses off from her nose and putting them atop her head.

"But that time, you know, when James walked in, that totally wasn't my fault!"

"So you say," Ann mumbled, not convinced as they began to discuss some sort of secret unsaid memory.

The other woman pouted and threw down a card without paying much attention to what exactly had been thrown.

"If you hadn't of been stealing—"

"Hey I don't steal! Besides, I'm an archeologist, and I was curious about that artifact Nathaniel had sent you, it looked like it had come from the feudal Japan area and I just….I just wanted to touch it." Minerva hissed, the same desire that had, obviously fueled her actions all those years before still there.

"So you stole it from my room like the thief you are and the only reason you don't still steal now is because I threatened to take you to jail back then."

"Not true, Ivy, I'm a normal and decent citizen."

"Who just happened to raise the most dangerous enemy to my daughter…"

"And now they all live together."

"Does anyone else find that strange?" Minerva suddenly asked.

"Just shutup and put down a card."

When all was said and done a few hours, some shouting, and a few bottles of vodka later, Ann decided it was most certainly time to go back to her home and her mischievous odd husband.

"Well then, Ann, you should stop by more often I miss seein' yah."

Ann couldn't help but smile at the site of Minerva in the doorway holding up a flustered grinning Ivivian like she had always been living there and belonged there, and idly, Ann wondered if Minerva did come by often to bother the oldest of their little 'ranger' group.

"Everyone is so busy these days, but I'll try to stop by more often, but you know if I come over here any more than I do James might get suspicious."

"He doesn't mind us does he?"

"No, but he does make some really crude strange comments."

"Like…. 'Well, so long as she isn't with a man then it's fine.'"

"Yes," Ann sighed, "Those odd questionable blunt text messages Ivy always leaves…"

"Yeah you can get the wrong idea," Minerva mumbled, "Didn't help that my own wayward man had the phone at the time either, that's why I was so late. You hear that? You idiotic woman? Start taking the time to fully explain stuff so that it won't look so perverted and wrong."

Despite the fact that Ivy was, quite literally, hanging on her, Minerva still found cause to yell into the giggling older woman's ear.

"She can never hear anything when she's like this, same ol' same ol'."

Ann gave a nod of remembrance.

"I'm going to stay here with the drunkard then, if she hurt herself and broke her brittle bones Nathaniel would kill me."

Ann gave a shake of her head and a short laugh, but she knew that Minerva was probably being serious about the head of the Director household. 

"If you see my Shelly Ann before she decides to even let me know where she lives anymore do tell her mommy dearest misses her and wishes her kisses and snuggles."

"I…will…in not so many words."

As Ann prepared to depart for the night to return to the normalcy that was everyday existence she paused, turning back to a solemn looking Minerva.

"Minnie, we're getting older…eventually…there won't be time for stuff like this…anymore."

"Heh, you said that the last time, on the stairs of the college, remember? We still see each other though? Right, drunkard?"

Ivivian gave a sloppy sluggish wave and a gibberish sounding goodbye.

"I know, I know, but be serious here for a moment."

Despite the fact that Ivivian was chewing on her hair like some sort of rabbit, Minerva tried to keep some sort of straight face.

"You are always gone on your little mysterious expeditions, Ivivian has government work, I have doctors work, so when do we ever seriously get to hang like old times?"

"Good point…" Minerva mumbled, shoving Ivy's face away from her hair, "We better start hanging out now then, before this mummy here dies."

Ann winced, but she knew this was Minerva's way of saying she felt the same. Turning with a sigh she moved down the stairs before she heard Minerva's voice.

"We will engage in more ranger activity in a few days time, do be prepared to accept this mission, Red!"

With a snort and a laugh Ann twisted around, doing some sort of childish salute before quickly scurrying back to her car and back to her adulthood.

Until then… Hey, perhaps they could go visit their children together then, that would be fun!

* * *

"AAAAAAHH!"

Director and Kim woke with a start as Shego twitched and jerked in the dog bed that was settled besides the outrageously massive master bed that Kim now occupied completely alone, to the displeasure of the green skinned beauty.

"What's wrong?" Kim asked with genuine concern in her voice.

"Yes, Shegaroo, what is wrong?" Betty asked, though her tone betrayed her exhaustion with its intense sarcasm.

"I felt like….like….like something evil this way comes."

"What?" Kim asked, confused.

"QUICKLY!" Shego suddenly yelled, causing the occupants of the room next door to bang, hard, on the wall with screams of promised hell with the coming of the dawn and a muffled 'Bonnie calm down!'.

"We must prepare… for war!"

"Whatever," Kim groaned, tossing one of the large fluffy pillows on the bed towards the shivering green skinned girl.

"Go to bed!" Betty snorted.

Shego could only whimper as the large pillow smacked her head on in the face. These fools they knew nothing of the coming apocalypse.

Nothing!


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Kim Possible certainly doesn't belong to me.

Sorry for the wait, this one was long… really really long.

Think of it as two chapters in one.

* * *

Living with Kim Possible was great, far more unimaginable than Ron could have thought it to be. Everyday was becoming one of the best days of his life, spending if not all his time, than nearly all his time, with his best buddy for life. At first, he had been skeptical of living with them though, of course. He was, after all, the only male living in a mansion full of attractive females. It made him feel like some sort of… of… harem man! Even if he wasn't dating any of the girls he was rooming with, he still felt awkward and all sorts of uncomfortable all the time. This was not healthy for a man, he was sure of it! Especially when he was getting beat up every other day for things he could not control! Like the time when Bonnie was getting out of the shower and he had sorta kinna ran into her and made her towel fall off. Monique didn't have to beat him within an inch of his life for that had she? After all, he'd told her (screamed more like it) that it was an accident and nothing more during the duration of his pain! Hell, he'd even screamed that he wasn't even attracted to Bonnie! Though that had only made things worse for some odd reason. It was only when Kim had come to save him that he was spared Monique's and Bonnie's wrath. Boy, Monique sure did act like some sort of wild dragon when angry.

Similar acts and actions continued to occur over the course of the first and second week too, and so far he had seen, not only Bonnie nude, but just about every one else except for the elusive Dr. Director… not that he was some sort of pervert who was trying to see a bunch of naked girls! No, no not that! And it wasn't as if he was actually keeping track of who he'd seen either! It was only after he had ended up in a wheelchair from Shego's 'punishment' that he had understood that things seemed to happen to him in a pattern and so long as he did whatever he needed to do before the girls went through their daily bathroom or mischievous routines, he could avoid being hospitalized!

This idea hadn't worked all that well in the beginning; after all he hadn't really known their schedules in the first place and making half witted guesses had earned him plenty of bruises. However, eventually he'd learned that the girls seemed to use the bathroom more or less during the early morning, noon, and then finally the late night. So, as long as he used the shower at… say… three o' clock in the morning everyday, he wouldn't be called a peeping tom, or a pervert, or some other name that would hurt his feelings. Likewise, if he used the bath at… oh… midnight, he would be successful as well. Finally, finally, he could bathe in peace…

Or so he thought.

"Hey, Rufus? Could you pass me the soa-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Well well well…"

What suddenly ripped open the curtain to the bathroom shower was the wolfish Shego, who seemed to be enjoying the site of Ronald, naked, humiliated, and utterly embarrassed, a little too much. If Kim had been there she would have… well, she wouldn't have been there. Kimberly was the only one of their group who seemed to be as conscious of Ron's bathing habits as he was of hers. She made it her duty to avoid walking in on him, even if he couldn't quite do the same for her.

A naked mole rat was given a squeeze between pale green fingers, causing Rufus to grumble and curse in a language neither could understand before he managed to slither out of her grip and gallop back toward his pants-less master.

"What are you doing in here?!" Ron squeaked, finally recovering enough of his dignity to cover his exposed kibbles and bits.

"I came to shower." Mumbled the, technically, inhuman 'pet', who rolled a small bottle of liquid soap between spread fingers, "You ran a little overtime, didn't cha?"

Here Shego paused, barely containing her sadistic laughter at Ron's deplorable appearance.

"What could you possibly have to cove—"

"Shego! Shego? Where did she go—"

_Dear Lord, why have you forsaken me?_ Ron thought bitterly, watching his best friend wander into the room, clearly in search of one thing only to find another. _Have I not been good to you? Sure I don't go to temple much but…_

"Ron! W-w-what the hell are you doing?! Were you flashing Shego?"

"Of course not," Ron screeched, desperately clawing past the open shower curtain for a towel that seemed father than he had placed it earlier.

"He… he… he did, Princess!" Shego stuttered, lifting a hand to cover suddenly tear filled eyes, "I… I asked if anyone was in here and he said he was in trouble, he had slipped and fell so… so I came in and he tried to jump on me… and ravish my poor body!"

Ron felt as if he were trapped in some sort of twisted vortex. There was no way in hell he had the strength to do any type of Shego-ravishing. If anything, it seemed as if it had almost been the other way around! Who just walks into bathrooms ripping open shower curtains?! Someone with ill-intent that's for sure!

"Bah! KP won't fall for those lies—"

"Ron!"

"Gulp."

Kim, as skeptical as she appeared, still didn't seem all that pleased with the situation. Instincts, old and experienced from battles and other situations dealing with a Shego that had once worked for Drakken, screamed that this was nothing more than made up rubbish. Yet, when had Shego ever gone so far as to make false tears? Did Shego even ever cry? Was seeing Ron naked that horrifying—Okay, time to stop this train of thought.

"S-s-so, it is kinna cold and I didn't do anything wrong," Ron stuttered, noting the suddenly stern expression Kim was wearing. That was her thinking expression! This sort of situation needed deep thought?! Shego was lying, he hoped she could see that, but it seemed as if that devilish wolf had her enchanted and believing frivolous things! _I'm not ready to die just yet._

Without waiting any longer, in an attempt to salvage what was left of his pride, those hands of his reached out to snatch the towel he finally thought he could reach without having to uncover himself with his other hand. Though, as fate would have it, Shego just happened to tug the towel a little further from his reach, causing Ron to overshoot his aim, and his footing. He released his most precious possessions in a lunge for the towel that evaded him and taunted his very existence.

With a battle cry, "Raaaaaaaaawr!" He toppled over.

It wasn't everyday Kim got the chance to see a nude male body. She decided, however, that she wished never again to see another.

"RON."

"RUN RUFUS, RUN AND TELL MY STORY TO OTHERS, DON'T LET MY LEGACY DIE HERE!"

Shego swiftly retreated, leaving her princess and her best friend to their… mmm, bonding moment, her lips twitched up into a smile befitting the thief she had once been.

"You are a piece of work."

It was a useless motion to face the owner of the voice that came from behind her; after all, she knew that disapproving disciplinary militant tone like she knew Kim's lips. Er, not that she had stolen a kiss or two from her while she had slept or anything, certainly not she.

"So you keep saying," Shego laughed, tossing that wide mischievous grin over her shoulder, though there was something else in her expression that made her current company wince in nervous discomfort, "You can't tell me that wouldn't make you laugh, but you are a bit of a stick in the mud, right?"

"Nonsense, I know when and how to have fun… I just don't take pleasure in such sadistic entertainment," Director mumbled, rubbing her hands against the edge of her blouse.

"A good time for you is a book written in a language no one in this household can read?"

"And what a good time it is."

Yowling from the bathroom interrupted what might have grown into a usual and oddly comfortable argument.

"Tell you what," Shego began, slyly snaking an arm about the shoulders of the older and third part of their little twisted family, "You show me you can have fun, my type of fun, and I won't call you out on your clearly boring personality."

It took nearly all her self control to keep from rising to the bait at the end of Shego's statement, but she managed pretty well, having grown used to being jabbed and prodded at for reactions she often regretted afterwards, "This won't involve rape will it?"

"Ah…ahaha… ehehe…" Shego laughed nervously, "C-course not, why would you say that."

Clearing her throat, Shego began to lead Director to the room they shared with Kim, leaning over to whisper with a bit of a hiss in her ear…

"Do you accept?"

Grunt, "Affirmative."

"Then, riddle me this."

* * *

Silk Collars

By: Myself

**Do Not Want**

* * *

The sirens were an obnoxious loud yowl that cracked through the silence of the surrounding area like thunder booming across an open plain. It awakened with it, soon after, the panicked yell of straining voices, some of which shouted orders and commands nearly drowned out by the screech of the alarm meant to help them. A fat lot of good it did them, however, as officers continued to scramble about in confusion, becoming victims to the sirens that did nothing more than rise to a deafening pitch. It was among this chaos, riding the excitement of a half-assed break out, orange suited figures left and right leapt and rushed from cages meant to hold them incarcerated for an extended period of time. It was one of these figures that slipped among the chaos with a strange sense of calm. There was no need to join the frenzied and feverous panicked wave that whooped and hollered with uncontrolled emotion at the prospect of being free once again, not when that wave had been placed into predicted motion. All in all, the figure that smoothly moved within the catastrophic mess of officers and prisoners swiftly but not erratically, took advantage of the situation and ironically escaped the establishment from a place that was supposed to have been the most guarded.

She walked right out the front door, pushing open the imposing gates made of the strongest metal with the sort of ease reserved for cutting butter.

"Where are they?" The hooded orange suit wearing woman grunted, one foot taping against the rock hard cement in a display of her lack of patience. Or maybe it wasn't patience that made her tap her foot but the fact that this quickly planned break-out had succeeded and that their luck would only hold out for so long in respects to getting away. After all, she was just nonchalantly standing outside the doorway to what was supposed to have been a maximum security establishment barely out of the wildly swinging yellow lights that searched the grounds for people dressed in the manner that she was… speaking of which.

"It's time to ditch these rags…"

There was a saying about chaotic theory, a philosophy that dictated things don't usually go as planned or that when there is something one doesn't want to happen it does happen, which meant that whatever she wished to take place wouldn't until she needed it to…

_I'm just so clever…_

"Boy oh boy, I sure do hope I don't get caught by any competent guards." The hooded woman sung out as she rocked back and forth from the heels of her feet to her toes with her arms behind her back. At first, nothing happened except for what was already happening, the wail of the sirens that drowned out the yells of the officers and the screams of disgruntled overexcited prisoners, but soon the sound of heavy footsteps pounded closer, and closer, until they seemed as if they were right in front of her.

"Right on time…" The escapee mumbled, flashing the bright yellow light that washed over her form a dashing smile.

Benny had wanted nothing more than to enjoy a quiet evening doing nothing to little at all with the rest of his pals in the depths of the prison. This place was so high tech and so well guarded by others who actually wanted to do work and be overachievers that he had never thought that he would actually be needed to get off his fattening buttocks and do his actual job. The blare of the siren had been so shocking, so surprising, that it had taken him the longest to leap into action when the rest of his friends scattered from the lounge they had been hidden away in. _Why is this happening to me? _

What were the odds of him stumbling, head first, from the lounge where he had been situated right into the chest of his red faced superior, who had apparently gotten that way due to the loud and strained cursing he had been up to only moments earlier. What, also, were the odds of him receiving some of that well placed cursing as soon as he managed to regain some sense of balance? Today was just not his day, and as he rushed about, swept up by the complete and total panic that held the area imprisoned, swinging around a flashlight like the light to the thing was a laser beam able to cut down the mightiest of murders, rapist, pedophiles, and thieves, he wouldn't have dreamed of running into an actual prisoner.

In fact, he had made sure to rush to the front of the prison just to avoid the conflict happening at the heart of it. After all, most prisoners were pretty dumb, about as dumb as the guards that had left their posts to join the war being raged within. The simplicity of merely exiting at the most obvious point while most were distracted couldn't possibly be an idea fathomed by people once held in cages discussed as bar wielding rooms.

Then again, how the hell had those particular people escaped those cages in the first place?

Something wasn't right, and he wasn't sticking around to find out. He figured that he could make up some sort of lie, an excuse that stated the reason he would be found outside the massive doors leading onto the campus of the prison. Some prisoner, he'd say, reviewing the wild tale in his head, has managed to actually escape his way, thinking the door had been left unguarded…

Yeah, that would work, yeah!

So, bravely, heroically, he had fought off the wild menace and chased him back into the depths of the prison to be captured by his fellow guardsmen. However, he refused to return to the heart of the fold in order to make sure nobody else became a wise guy and attempted to leave by using this method.

That sounded good enough, clever enough, great enough… Yes, it would work.

Then, as he swung his flashlight around at the sound of a muffled voice it landed directly upon an orange suited figure.

"Yeck," The hood wearing woman grunted, to which Benny frowned with hands reaching for the nightstick upon his belt, "You're like a walking disaster, I'm a little curious about those white stains on your uniform, but then there's this voice in the back of my head saying 'just don't ask'."

Benny, still a little shell shocked at the fact that his excuse had a lot more truth to it than he had wished for it to, could only glance down at the dull brown and wrinkled shirt that adorned his form. Those white stains that graced the bottom end of his blouse and the top portion of his pants, he was certain that was powder from the donuts he had selfishly stolen from the meeting room earlier that day.

Or, rather, he _hoped_ those stains had been caused by the donu--Wait, why was he bothering to contemplate that of all things?

"Don't move," Benny said, finally mustering the bulk of his courage to face down the woman with the hooded orange suit. He lifted the light, wielding it as if it were some sort of magical blade that would solve the scenario and flashed the offensive light toward her face, though the hood of the suit only gave site to the bottom half of her face. Her eyes were completely hidden from the guard.

Still, the prisoner lifted her hand with a grunt as if to shield them when the light was flashed at her face. Benny then found cause to wonder who the hell had given the prisoner a uniform like that. One that could particularly hide her identity. Didn't that seem just a tad but inconvenient if one wanted to identify her? Even if her lips and that sly smirk she wore were pretty memorable having half her face covered seemed like an unnecessary complication to the guard.

"Could you lower that thing? It's agitating the hell outta me."

"I said, don't move!" Benny repeated a tad bit louder, moving sweaty palms to the hilt of the stick at his waist as he held the light angled directly on her face. He hadn't noticed that the drone of the sirens around them might not allow his voice to carry as far as he liked. He knew he certainly couldn't hear the prisoner, whose lips had released nothing more than muffled sounds his way. So, he was certain she couldn't hear him.

It didn't matter in the end though, the language of violence was universal after all, and she'd get the point of the matter after a good whacking across the noggin by his wonder stick.

The guard came all the closer, and with a zen like patience the prisoner waited for him to approach. Something wasn't right, he could feel it, but ignoring his gut by believing in the pride of his weapon he stopped a few feet from her position.

"Come on then, turn around." He yelled, the strain of his voice causing the veins in his neck to stand out. Slowly, the woman obeyed, though that smug expression never left her face as she did so and lifting that stick he placed the very tip at the small of her back. "Good, good, now we're gonna go back to your cell all nice like, yah?" He wagered, preparing to apply the needed amount of pressure to the stick to get her moving forward.

"Yah?" The prisoner mocked, giving insight to her amazing ability to be humorous in the most serious of situations. The guard, however, found nothing funny about the current happenings. Ignoring the pounding ache that began to assault his head due to the constant blare of the alarm they should have cut off, he shoved the stick forward, jabbing the rounded blunt end against her skin.

Then it hit him, literally, that this woman was more than he had initially assumed. White engulfed his vision, and pain exploded from his most sacred of places. Age old instinct took over, and his hands dropped the stick in favor of his 'bathing suit area'. Why, he wondered, as his breath left him in a huff and he saw the world spin, would he think of that Stranger Danger seminar now? He felt his backside collide with the hard earth, but the pain of his fall was nothing in comparison to the searing sensation that tore through his body. In the end, as the prisoner retracted the foot that had delivered the backwards kick that had defeated him and twisted around to face his downed form, he could do nothing but grunt, wheeze, and shudder. There came no more orders and he certainly lacked what little intimidation he once held in his favor.

With his wonder stick in her grip, being twirled between dexterous fingers as if it were nothing more than a pencil to be manipulated she leaned over his form. "Sorry, officer. But, I gotta go on a bit of a trip, so I need you to take a little nap so that I can borrow this fashion disaster you are wearing. Or rather, this thing you call a uniform. Let's switch, shall we? One uniform for the other."

It didn't matter if he had regrets about attempting to avoid the situation by running into one of worse rank. He couldn't rewind time, he couldn't get his pride back, and he couldn't stop the darkness that engulfed his vision.

* * *

"Where are we exactly and, why am I dressed like a pirate?"

"It's not a pirate. I was going for 'rouge shogun'."

"Do you even know what a shogun is? I didn't take you for a Japanese cultural study."

"Well, I have a well rounded degree in a educational--Why am I answering you? Do you know you have this thing about asking the fun out of everything?"

"And you have this thing about getting us into a lot of trouble. This is an illogical venture we're taking here. W-what if… what if we get caught?"

"Don't worry about it, I've perfected our disguises to a T." Shego snorted, cocking her head to the side in a motion of egotistical pleasure as she opened the door to the massive, mostly glass windowed, building they stood in front of. "So, straighten that face and look alert. Welcome, alright? To the Villain's Convention."

"To the WHAT?" Director yelled, causing various masked faces to turn in their general direction and Shego to huff in nervous embarrassment as she attempted to calm the one eyed woman down.

"The. Villains. Convention." Shego hissed through clenched teeth, waving dismissively at those who gave them cautious looks. "Do you want us to get caught? Don't go around screaming like that and lookin' dumb."

Director winced, more or less due to the tight grip Shego had on her arm as she tugged them both further into a world of misconduct and ill-minded deeds. "Ow, ow, and I didn't scream. It was a small yell. Why does this exist? _How_ does this exist and why would you drag me here?"

Waiting until the both of them were a fair distance from the doorway and the crowd of villains that had seen the small outburst Shego sighed and took the time to adjust her state of dress, which consisted of a dark green and black pinstripe suit, complete with cane and a top hat that tilted just enough so that the artificial darkness caused by the lip shielded her eyes from view.

"It's because you agreed to this, remember? You said you'd allow me to teach you how to have some fun. Now, unless you want to go back on your word let's turn that frown upside down, okay?"

Ignoring Shego's painfully false cheer Director growled, "I don't remember agreeing to this particular setting. Why, of all places, would I wish to come here? What is so fun about this area?" Heatedly, beneath her breath, Director hissed, "If I weren't currently trapped as a house pet I'd come in here and have all these idiots arrested."

"Well you are trapped as a house pet," Shego offered, unhelpfully, "Besides, it's just a little convention, a gathering of costumed people, going on here. It's not like they're selling slaves or anything like that on the second floor."

It was hard to tell whether Shego was being serious or sarcastic in any instance and for what felt like a long time Betty found herself unable to decide whether she should actually check the second floor for slaves or trust that the other woman was just exercising her perverse sense of humor.

"I see… Then this is a harmless and somehow legal event?" Director asked.

"I wouldn't say it was harmless--Oh look! Walk with me, talk with me, let's check out this booth. By the way, we don't want to be discovered here. After all, we are… what is that… Masterless and what not right now. Call me… call me Minerva, alright?"

"Minerva…?"

"Minerva. Now how does my disguise look? Can't recognize me can you? I did a good job on you too, if I do say so myself."

"Don't." Director answered, bluntly. The most Shego had done to hide her own identity was change her usual choice of wear and somehow find a hat that strategically covered her face. She, on the other hand, had been drastically altered. Having suffered another hair-cut via Shego's lack of professional hairdressing skill she now looked as if she had rolled out of bed and become some sort of rebel Goth punk. What was up with making her hair look like a spiked and chopped up mess? It didn't help that Shego had artistically added red streaks to her hair either, which only made it look like bloody patches had settled among the brown tone her hair naturally took on. She was to old for all this radical mess.

"I don't like… whatever you called yourself doing to my skull, this nose ring hurts, and I don't think I pull off the tattered clothes look well. Are villains normally bums?" Betty asked, fingering the rather large torn up haori she wore coupled with shorts that Betty swore came from the men's section of Smarty Mart. "Couldn't you have made me a villain with some sort of fashion sense? I can only begin to imagine how you acquired some of these objects in such a timely fashion without Kimberly Ann or her mother taking notice."

"It's called credit card information in another person's name--but you! You are never satisfied are you? It's not a bum villain, it's a shogun, a shogun. I saw that outfit on one of those cartoons that side-kick is always watching. What is his name? Henry… James… Sebastian?"

"Ronald, Ronald Stoppable and there's nothing shogun about this outfit other than the fake wooden sword you strung up to my hip that isn't the least bit threatening by the way." Betty paused then, clearing her throat and making her voice a little deeper. "Halt! You there! Put all the money in this bag or face the mightiness of my stick…"

"Look, I was short on cash, alright? And what sort of villain says 'halt'?"

"And please, be sure to place all the money in the bag in small bills of ten, twenty, and fifty."

"Don't milk the joke to much."

"Perhaps, if you had spent less on your own outfit and an equal amount of Kimberly Ann's money on both of our outfits…"

"Hey! Now… I'm borrowing that money. She'll get it back soon." She said nervously, pausing in front of a booth with a particularly interesting set of bondage ropes. You know, for binding hostages and stuff.

"Really? I wonder how." Betty muttered, expression stoic and unchanging as she looked at everything on the booth table other than the set of bondage ropes, "What exactly possessed you to buy that anyway? You look like the Brainteaser from Manbat."

It was at this time that Shego had the nerve the appear insulted, "You said I look like what?"

Ignoring Shego's statement Director focused, instead, on her expression. "Are you upset?"

"Upset?" Shego mumbled, face scrunched in confusion. Why would she ask her something like that? Upset? She was downright enraged! Was Betty implying that her sense of fashion was warped? She so did not look like some two-bit bad guy from a children's television show.

"Upset, you know…" Director mumbled, waving her hand in a dismissive manner, "It's an emotion that--Wait wait…" Here she groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose, "I'm getting ahead of myself… An emotion is a feeling--"

"A hah hah hah. And they said you didn't have a sense of humor!"

"They said what…?"

Feeling a little bit better at Director's expense Shego merely shrugged, dropping the subject and elevating her companions confusion born agitation. "Come this way."

"Can I decide what we look at next?"

"What? Of course not," Shego laughed, shoving past excited bodies dressed in various garbs more ridiculous than her own without much care for who they may be or where they were going. One person in particular grunted in displeasure as Shego elbowed past, but did nothing more than glare from behind a current newspaper.

"Could you be a little more polite in your mannerisms?" Director asked, uncomfortable with Shego's methods of movement but doing little more than mumbling apologies under her breath to the victims instead of attempting to stop the green skinned woman from bowling them over.

"Don't worry about it. Come on, let's go to the second floor. They're doing demonstrations up there."

Director didn't bother asking exactly what they were demonstrating, she was sure she wouldn't get an answer anyway.

- - - - - - -

"Tch."

The newspaper was balled up and thrown away. It sported nothing more than worthless dribble, things that wouldn't assist her in gaining her revenge for being thrown in jail or retrieving her former fame. Sure, there had been a few recent events she'd found interesting if a bit absurd, but otherwise wasting her time reading the paper hadn't given her anything back other than a rude shove to the side by some idiot who couldn't utter a simple 'excuse me'. Villains convention or not, it didn't hurt to show some damn respect. If only she had gotten a good look at that persons face, then she could have shown 'em a lesson outside. She had half a mind to find them. It wouldn't be hard to spot the man or woman that had shoved her, not with that retarded hat on their head.

Snatching up the latest magazine claiming to hold the most important villainous updates from a nearby stand the hoodie wearing woman made her way toward the second floor, ignoring the cries of the stand owner as she melded in with the crowd. Pay for it? Why, if she hadn't paid for the newspaper, what made him think she'd pay for the magazine?

When she made it to the second floor through a combination of shoving and cursing of her own she snapped the magazine open, eyes hidden under her white hoodie scanning the contents though she was more or less distracted by the pretty pictures than the actual articles. It wasn't until she hit a rather interesting section that she slowed her wayward walk down to a crawling stroll.

The rumors section, one that wasn't meant to be taken all that seriously. There was little fact in the fiction, though sometimes… sometimes things were half-way true. Stretched stories, she'd heard someone call them once. That was what they were. However, it was hard to believe some of the garbage they had the nerve to scribble on paper and it didn't help that magazines like this weren't all that credible next to the more popular ones either. Some of these stories didn't even make sense. Something about a Drakken marrying some scientist named DNAmy (those names seemed familiar) and other people she had heard little about. Apparently some Monkey Fist wasn't all that pleased with the Drakken dudes arrangement. A lot of stuff had been blown up. Poor orphanage, where will all those orphans stay now?

"Three hundred!" A loud voice cried, followed by a shrill shriek of, 'How do you have three hundred dollars?!'.

The woman ignored it and turned another page.

Apparently the government was screwing up a bit, passing laws that didn't matter much, but very little detail was given in reference to what the laws detailed exactly. Only that they affected two particular people, one of which once held a high position in a rather secret funded organization and another a rather popular face around the villainous circuits…

"Five hundred!"

"Stop! Stop!"

Again, the loud voice and the seemingly growing ever desperate one was ignored.

The article was surprisingly ludicrous from then on out, saying that the famous green skinned woman had been forced to live with the most hated of heroes in order to survive destruction due to the rulings of the law, which hadn't been pulled yet due to the lazy incompetence of the government. It was a laughable scenario, something that couldn't possibly have been true and idly, she wondered what sort of creative mind could have formulated this type of drivel. It was pure fiction, Shego living with THE Kim Possible? Were they out of their minds? Then again…

Quickly, while the bidding at the nearby booth she had approached continued to escalate higher in dollar amount she flipped through the rest of the pages. While in prison they had been afforded the convenience of newspapers every so often and even then she hadn't seen anything recent in the papers about a high stakes theft done by a green skinned fiend and sure, she remembered a few nondescript and certainly unimportant cell mates mumbling a thing or two about some new laws but she had never paid them any mind…

Bah, what a waste of time. The only way this magazine could have been helpful to her was if the rumor was actually true. Getting Shego eliminated would bring her the fame she needed to redeem her proper place and certainly the hero in Kim Possible would come running to save the very person she was currently housing, thus that whole revenge thing could be taken care of too… It would be knocking out two birds with one stone.

She best not give her hopes up.

"Ok, ok, seven hundred and not a hundred over that!" The person beside her yowled. It was the same loud mouthed woman she'd been hearing since she'd come to the second floor, but worse than that, when she turned her head to get a better look at her it turned out to be the rude person who had shoved her as well.

After all, she just couldn't forget that fashion disaster of a hat.

Just what the hell was she bidding on anyway?

In order to further distract herself from the strange sounds of greedy excitement going on to her right (was that lady panting?) she decided to snatch up a pamphlet depicting the object currently on display at the booth. The picture on the cover wasn't all that eye-catching, it was just a remote or it looked like it was just a remote. Nothing special about, nothing to claw the squealing salesmen up about. Yet the numbers for the thing kept climbing higher and higher and higher… It wasn't even a fashion accessory, it would look dreary next to any outfit, what was the charm?

Flipping the pamphlet over her shoulder the hood wearing woman decided she'd find out for herself.

"E-excuse me, excuse me! Miss? You can't be up here!" The smarmy salesman reminded, though he was a tad to busy to attend to the rule breaker personally since he was trying to keep the man and woman with the strange coordinating outfits from ripping off his business jacket and blouse. Why were they doing this to him anyway? It's not like he was on sale.

"Who is that? One of his helpers? He sure does need one, I'm tired of waiting to collect what's mine." Shego mumbled, running fingertips across the lapel of her hat in a show of impatient annoyance.

Director was a little to busy to notice the woman who'd taken to the stage with her eyes more or less on the mass of people that seemed to be overpowering the salesman and stripping him of his clothing, possessions, and dignity, "Are we going to…?"

"Help? No. Hey, you! Lady! Toss me that remote thing would you? I just promised over a lot of money--"

"That doesn't belong to you."

"To pay for tha--Shut up…"

"Tch…" The woman grunted as she snatched up the blue large buttoned remote with little care and headed back toward the edge of the stage. By now the salesman was a suffering glob of screams trapped beneath various aggressive and sadistically cruel half-bit villains. It was a sad display, much like a train wreck in that sorta once you started watching you couldn't stop watching manner.

Or rather, that was what Director had convinced herself to believe. She wouldn't be staring so rudely any other time.

Either way, he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, which gave the hood sporting woman free range when it came to walking off the stage with the object Shego seemed determined on owning. This did not sit well with the former thief who climbed the stage in order to prevent such action (amazingly). Then again, she had spent a lot of cash on it (not really) and there was no way she was allowing someone else to steal it… when she could have just stole the damn thing herself. (but hadn't, out of respect for Betty, not because she was rusty or anything like that…).

When the mysterious girl approached the edge of the stage with all the intent to leave it and continue on with her day she suddenly found her path blocked by the loud mouthed pimp.

"Eh? Move it, you walkin' fashion offense."

At this insult Shego snarled, narrowing eyes within the darkness that covered the upper portion of her face. What did she just say…? And what the hell was Director laughing at?!

"That's a good one, that's a good one! I like it, I like it!"

Forgetting about the agitated girl in front of her Shego whirled around to her supposed partner in crime, cane at the ready.

"You better shut yer mouth before I--"

"She's getting away." Director announced, deadpan and face suddenly devoid of emotion.

Glancing over her shoulder to the spot where the hood wearing woman had once occupied and swearing she could see the dust outline of her figure, she cursed. "WHAT?! WHEN? HOW?"

"You lose some you win some." Director replied, none too helpfully, with a bit of a wistful sigh and a shrug. "Let's go over there, I saw some puppies earlier and I wanted to--"

"No!" Shego interrupted, grunting as she leapt off the stage that, now, only hosted one nude and semiconscious salesman, of which both were ignoring as he writhed and held out his hand in a desperate plea for assistance.

"I don't lose!"

"Except when, you know, fighting Kimberly Ann Possible…"

"We're going after her!" Then, as an afterthought, Shego sadistically added, "Those puppies, by the way, they use them for experiments. The explosioney kind."

"….Huh?" Director replied, a little dumbfounded and pale.

"Arf arf, boooom…." Shego described, wiggling her fingertips as Director imaged tiny doggie bits raining all over the place.

After giving Director say, a minute or two to let her imagination run wild, Shego eagerly and quite happily grabbed her wrist.

"Let's go!"

- - - - - -

'_They're persistent.' _The fresh thief thought as she weaved through a influx of badly dressed wannabe villains and badly dressed real villains.

Indeed they were persistent, so persistent that the badly dressed villains were being flung onto the wanna be dressed villains as they broke through the crowd. Or rather, as Shego broke through the crowd. Director merely weaved through the chaotic disorder she so freely caused.

"GIVE ME BACK MY REMOTE!"

"Not so loud, not so loud." Director mumbled, more or less embarrassed. First off, it wasn't even Shego's remote… yet. Secondly, people were starting to stare… er… glare actually. This was quickly becoming a scenario she didn't want to be apart of.

Of course, Shego didn't care to much about that.

"Hah, got you now…"

The fresh thief scowled at her predicament and the if looks could kill there would be plenty of dead folk surrounding her. Instead, she was surrounded by a multitude of alive people all waiting to board the elevator to get to the hotel portion of the convention center. Some of which moved out the way unwilling to be dragged into the mess that was the current scene playing out.

Ding!

"Got who?" The hood wearing woman innocently replied before giving the remote in her grasp a bit of a twirl and shoving and pushing her way to the front of the just summoned elevator.

When Shego attempted to do the same trick, she met with less than pleasing results.

"Ouch!"

Director only passively watched Shego bounce on her butt after a particularly burly heavy set man shoved her away from the elevator with his stomach alone. In fact, she then just as passively watched the very elevator Shego had tried to force herself into close, cutting off the rather pleased laughter of the remote thief.

"Thanks, thanks for the help. Good to know that the side of justice, of globally marketed justice, will be on my side in my time of need."

"I am on your side--at your side. I didn't want to abandon you here, on the floor, where you might be trampled."

Shego opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, before just snarling and standing up quickly, fingertips jerking the hat that was tilted awkwardly upon her head back to its proper position. "Hurry up, we're gonna track that elevator."

Without further explanation Shego caught hold of Director's wrist and began steadily pulling her along.

"They have to be like, hitting every other floor! There's no way we'd be able to catch up to the elevator at each floor and see whose coming out!"

"Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!"

"No, no, no we can't!"

But Shego wasn't listening, though there had never been a time when she ever had, Director though with despair as she was tossed at and then shoved through the door that lead to the stairs entrance.

"Get tah steppin'!"

* * *

_This stinks_.

Literally, it stunk, and idly the remote thief wondered if the heavy set man beside her dressed in his ridiculous life-scarring outfit knew how to bathe once in awhile. It didn't take much to set soap and water to skin, unless you were allergic to cleanliness or something. Even then, the burn of your flesh would be worth smelling like roses afterwards. She could only pray this stench wouldn't be soaked up by her clothes like smoke.

_Ding!_

The elevator doors slid open, releasing one or two people for the second floor, who seemed to squeeze out of the jam pack elevator with an unspoken relief.

But big, fat, and smelly didn't.

_It's gonna be a long ride…_

* * *

"Let's take the stairs two at a time, she said, we'll be there in a hurry, she said."

"Hah… hah…ah…..geh…heh? Gah!"

"You know, Miss Shego, you seem very out of shape for this type of activity. Which is suprising, in itself…"

At least two stories ahead of her stood a smirking Director, smug in her physical prowess over her younger companion, who had suggested they take on this monster of an adventure in the first place. When she caught up to her, Shego silently swore, she'd show her who was out of shape…

Right after she caught her breath.

"Well then! Come on. This silly plan is bound to fail now, especially since we've found out that the elevator moves a lot faster than you!" Betty yelled below her while whipping open the door to the third floor as she crested the top of the current flight of stairs she'd been conquering.

'_Grr, when I get you all alone…!!!'_

* * *

Another floor and the fat man only huffed with impatience.

_You should have took the damn stairs, you could have used the exercise and I could have used the clean oxygen._

While she stood, nearly crushed and squished in the far corner of the elevator, with one sleeve over her mouth as she attempted to breath through the cloth to smother the smell she wondered just when he would be removing himself from society. His clothing, coupled along with his smell, could kill someone. And they called her the villain?

But then she paused in her thought and wrinkled her nose. Speaking of when he was going to get off the elevator had reminded her of a suddenly pressing problem.

Just when the hell was she going to get off the elevator?

* * *

"Just when the hell is she going to get off the elevator?" Shego wheezed, hunched over with her hands on her knees and her chest heaving as she sucked in great gulps of air. They had made it to the seventh floor, the friggin' seventh floor, somehow ahead of the elevator. Shego had put everything she had into making it there just ahead of schedule too (unlike the last five times when she'd just arrived only to be knocked aside by an exiting taunting Betty as the elevator continued on), even if that damned Director didn't care if she coughed up a lung and passed out in the middle of the hallway. She seemed to busy watching the numbers light up on the panel above the sliding doors that lead to the contraption to pay her to much attention anyway. So, she had time to catch her breath. About… what… ten seconds…?

_Ding!_

Suddenly Shego found herself ripped from the spot where she'd thought about collapsing and shoved against a wall by one eye patch wearing woman.

"Well! It's about time!" Shego purred, a sudden rush of inappropriate excitement devouring the exhaustion she had felt moments ago.

"Shhhhh!" Director hissed, nose wrinkling in mild annoyance, "I can't have you just… all out in the open. If she comes out she'll see us, naturally, and retreat. Don't worry, I don't plan on doing any of the things you do to Kimberly in my hallways to you."

"Oh…" Shego mumbled, sounding oddly truthfully disappointed to Betty.

Best not to think about it.

Slowly, Betty peered around the corner, followed by Shego's own head which was tucked over her shoulder, though even when the elevator doors opened… only two or three unrecognizable people wandered out.

No remote or thief.

"Oooooooh craaaap!"

"To the stairs!" Director hissed, yanking on Shego's arm as she tossed Shego through the door to the stairway this time. At first she'd been reluctant about taking on this foolish endeavor… but now…

Now she was doing it just to hear Shego's moans of agony and exhaustion. Did that make her a terrible person?

No, of course it didn't! Director was only making sure that Shego finished what she'd started… and oh she would finish.

* * *

_I'm dying… I can't take this anymore! _

How long had she been cramped in this small space feeling the onsets of claustrophobia settle in? She felt dizzy and her vision was blurry. This was slow torture, a painful agony, or perhaps punishment for stealing the remote that suddenly didn't look as appetizing as it had when she had first snatched it. What was wrong with her anyway? Stealing was all fine and dandy, but she was more of a fashion thief than the technology kind. What had made her grab this in the first place?

And was she really vulnerable to cramped spaces or to the poisonous gas floating around the air packed box?

Oh, no, not poisonous gas, it was just the smell of the fat man, but geez it was so powerful!

_Ding!_

Desperately the remote thief clawed her way to the front of the elevator, shoving rudely past a skinny nerd looking boy who squawked out a 'hey!' when he fell face first into the heavy set man's sweaty arm pit.

Eeeeeew….

Stumbling out the door she gasped, taking in great gulps of scented lavender air from household cleaning products.

With a gaze gone blurry from tears of relief hidden by the darkness created by her hood she looked at the wiggling numbers of the elevator, hardly noticing when the heavy set man huffed and panted his way out of the elevator and onto the floor she had thought she picked by random to hobble off to his room (and hopefully, he'd bath while he was in there).

Twenty-one, the glowing number read, right before the silver doors slid shut and the elevator continued on its way (though she swore she heard cheers and cries of happiness as it continued on without the burden the hobbling fat man had inflicted upon the poor people within.). She was way up, and it had taken her forever to get this far. She certainly couldn't leap out a window to escape or anything now, that was, if her pursuers had managed to pursuer her this far and trying to get back to the first floor might take ages.

"Nothing but trouble." The thief hissed, shaking the remote she had taken in a stupidly spur of the moment sort of action.

So what was she to do now?

"G-g-g-o…got….geh--…"

"Gotcha?"

"Y-…yeah that… *wheeze* Good job, Doc… *pant* Gotcha!"

Shego would make that decision for her, apparently.

Wasting no time the thief promptly twisted on the heels of her expensively shoed feet and ran down the hall, ignoring the wail of sadness that echoed behind her.

"No, no! No more running! Why don't they just stand still when I corner them?" Shego huffed, stumbling and jerking her body into motion after Director. Why the hell wasn't that woman breaking a sweat? This wasn't fair. Was she getting fat or something? Maybe being pampered by Kim all the time wasn't such a good thing after all, she needed to go to a gym or something!

Then again, even working for Drakken, it wasn't like she had to climb nearly a thousand steps in rapid

succession, they had had flying hovercrafts for that!

"Aaaah…" Director answered back coyly, "Now you know how it feels to be a hero… granted this is the wrong type of situation to be experiencing it."

Having regained some semblance of herself now that they were running on straight and leveled ground Shego only snorted, pushing her tired legs to pull her head of her company. She wouldn't be outdone any longer. It was time to end this spectacle! Or pass out trying.

Only a few paces ahead of them ran the thief, who seemed to be rapidly searching for some sort of escape. Which was true, she was searching for some sort of escape, but it was hard to lose your trackers when there weren't any hallways to suddenly twist down or random convenient exits to take. Unless…

There! Her elevator buddy!

The heavy set man wasn't paying the trio any sort of particular attention, he was used to seeing younger and skinner people than himself running freely down the hallways as if they had very little sense. There was something about a convention that brought out that sort of thing in people, but him? Nah, he had better things to do than exhaust himself unnecessarily. Like eat. His fat fingers gripped his sweaty keycard and shoved it home into the small slot in the door right above the handle. With a patience eaten away at by the excitement of a soon to be devoured meal he waited, watching the little red light go from yellow to suddenly green. Beep! The door was now able to be opened and beyond that door laid his haven.

Or so he thought.

"Excuse me!" The thief sung out, squeezing past his fat bulk into the suite he had paid a huge ridiculous amount of money for.

"He--" He uttered, though his word was barely heard over the sudden slam of the door.

What… what was this?

Then, just as suddenly, the door opened wide again. Good, for a moment there he had thought--

"Sorry, I need this too." The thief said, yanking the keycard from the slot and incidentally the man's sweaty fingers.

"Who--"

_Slam!_

Well then…

"Crap…" Shego growled, skidding to a halt beside the very man that had kept her from her prize the first time. Now he was doing it again? Giving this thief a safe den to nestle in and reap the fruits of her purchase? He should feel ashamed of himself, this helper of crime! Were there no decent people left on this earth?

For some reason, Director had a feeling that whatever Shego was thinking (judging by her expression which hosted a rather self-righteous glare toward the sweating and raw smelling man) she didn't have the right to actually think.

"We've got to get in there!" Shego snarled, twisting away from the startled man to storm off down the hallway toward a nearby cart filled with cleaning supplies and fresh linens. "Hey, you? Lady! I need to get into my room! Hurry and open the door."

* * *

One minute went by, then another, then another, until an entire fifteen minutes had passed without sound going on on the other side of the door. Sure, at first there had been a whole lot of screaming, and she could hear the whiny voice of the man she'd stolen the room from grow an octave higher than the other voices, but eventually the sound of heavy footsteps echoed on the other side of the hall and then… nothing.

The thief wasn't that naive though, they could have been waiting right on the other side for her, thinking she'd fallen for their trap, so until she was certain they had left the floor completely she figured she might as well settle in and relax, at least until she came up with some sort of exit strategy.

Then, another ten minutes passed and the thief realized that… there was no exit strategy.

Well, she refused to spend captivity locked away in a room without any sort of entertainment. Sure, there wasn't a way in hell she was going to touch the food stacked and pilled up on the table in the corner like that (it looked old and unsanitary to boot) but there was a television and like any good hotel suite it was bound to have some good channels on it. She'd indulge, for now at least, since it had been a good while since she had been in control of a television and able to watch whatever she'd wanted to watch. In prison, she'd never bothered before.

Fingertips groped across the bed in a lazy fashion as she leaned back against the massively fluffy pillows. This would have been a bad idea if she hadn't known the room had been cleaned prior to her theft of it. Or so she assumed, since the place smelt like vanilla and not old meat and underwear. When she felt something solid enough to be a remote she lifted it, paying no mind as to what might have actually been in her grip. So, naturally, when she pushed the power-on button, and instead of the TV coming on it… came on… the room, literally, in a mess of exploding swirls and wacky colors that spread across the surface of the walls and ceilings she jerked to a sitting up position. This was not the relaxation she had wanted to indulge in. Tossing her hidden gaze to her hand she grimaced, realizing that this was not the slender little black remote that clearly belonged to the TV, but the fat thick ungodly thing she had stolen.

The thing she had stolen and hadn't known what it actually did, in fact.

Well, course now she knew.

Then came a light rapping at the door, a soft knocking and an even softer voice which called out in uncertainty:

"Room… service?"

"No, no not like that!" Came a louder and more obnoxious tone, "Like this: **ROOM SERVICE!**"

"You said we have to sound friendly and demure, not monstrous and frightening."

The patterns on the walls shifted suddenly, drawing themselves into the TV and leaving it a sudden ominous black. Did it just turn itself… off?

"Gimmie that key, we don't have time for this!"

"You said we wouldn't use it unless this was an emergency."

"You think this isn't an emergency?!"

It was certainly an emergency, at least to the not so sure thief, who dropped the remote on the bed as she slowly backed away from the television. It was making odd gurgling sounds and growling at her. TV's don't growl at people, they play images for people! She hadn't been in prison _that_ long.

The door swung open then, smacking loudly against the wall as in stormed one infuriated Shego and one nervous looking Betty.

"You, my friend, are under arrest for the theft of one bought re--" Shego stopped in mid-sentence, her finger outstretched and pointing toward the hood wearing woman in an accusing manner and her clothing in disarray from climbing down and then back up twenty-one flights of stairs with a stolen master key while barely avoiding summoned security. All in all, she'd had a busy half hour or so, but even all that didn't compare to the… the… thing that seemed to be crawling from the depths of the television set.

"Shego!" Betty yelled, arm whipping over her face as her companions hat flew from her head to be sucked up and into the swirling vortex that was the tendril sporting television screen. "Get back!"

"Shego?!" The thief yelled, clutching her hood tight over her head as those tendrils began to form a dome over the room and its occupants.

"Oops… I mean Minverva!" Betty added quickly, yelling even louder to be heard over the vacuum sound of the television.

"Great going! You sure are discreet for a former organization leader. Your responsibility paramount's your skill." Shego shouted, though her tone of voice lost none of the harsh sarcastic edge it suddenly carried.

Despite the fact that her feet were sliding slowly across the carpet and the black dome that originated from the television was getting smaller and smaller around them, the theft's mind was blown by the fact that there, right in front of her face… or rather, for the entire duration of this silly chase, she'd been in the presence of one former theft and one former organization leader. The very pair she'd read in that silly rumor fueled magazine.

How ironic.

Though she no longer had time to think about the implications of her discovery as the darkness of the dome swallowed them whole.

* * *

Monique often worked during the day, making ends meet and getting the rent and all that, you know, things a husband would often do for a household and it wasn't as if she was the only one pulling her weight around to pay the rent to a house that was, really, already paid off. Though in reality, the 'rent' that was paid toward the Director estate was for utilities and things meant for pleasurable entertainment. Cable, heat, food, water, these sort of things a happy home makes, but Bonnie was a woman who knew no limits on cash or expenses. She was a high maintenance sort of girl, the type no man who made below minimum wage could possibly hope to keep. Now, as an adult, Bonnie seemed to be lacking the allowances she had been so ready to accept from her mother and in effect had turned toward the only other figure she could siphon money off of that was 'taking care' of her.

But Monique had cut that shit out as soon as the first credit card bill had arrived.

Though Bonnie had whined and begged and done other things in an attempt to sway her would be 'master' none had worked. She was still without a proper (or what proper meant in Bonnie's mind) amount of cash to spend on a daily basis and it wasn't as if she had a job to support her own habits. Monique wouldn't let her get one (not that she'd be able to keep one), saying that she needed to focus, instead, on the studies she had neglected when she had been in high school.

Stupid educational system and their summer school and her lack of graduation…

But studying was hard when she had no motivation. It wasn't as if she and Miss Perfect were still death locked rivals. Being under Monique's care had certainly squelched the desire to compete with her, especially with the threat of punishment should she so much as growl her way. So she felt mildly unenthused, only able to study when Monique forced her and actually watched her do it. Otherwise, her backside would get a good tanning… not that she complained all that much when it happened. But still, it was the new principle of guilt that ate away at her. This strange sensation that made her do things she wouldn't normally do or keep promises she'd rather break.

Still, she wondered how Kim's 'friends' could waltz around this place with brand new stuff without having jobs themselves. The one eyed woman was understandable, Bonnie believed her to be rich in general from whatever occupation she'd had that started this whole animal pet mess, but the green one… she didn't do anything but sleep all day as far as she knew. She'd investigate the matter, but for some weird reason she couldn't find the pair in question anywhere on the estate. Which was odd, she thought they couldn't leave the house without Kim… and that girl was still very much here rummaging about in the kitchen and being loud.

If Monique came home and asked her why she hadn't done any of the arithmetic spread around her settled form she'd just go ahead and tell her that Miss Perfect was making so much noise she couldn't focus. It wasn't a complete lie, after all. Since Kim was here and she was making noise and Bonnie really couldn't focus. Now, if any of those factors had any true relation to one another was the real mystery though. In the end she gave up (though it wasn't like she'd really tried to begin with) and stopped chewing on her pencil to exchange it for the remote on the couch. She herself was sitting on the floor, as animals weren't allowed on the furniture. True, she wasn't an animal, but she wasn't going to tell that to Monique, who seemed to be enjoying treating her like one all the same.

Besides, if it was making her happy then… then it wasn't that big of a deal.

Shoving the text books that she could barely understand further away from her body and likewise kicking away papers with scribbles and inappropriate sketches defacing their value she flicked on the TV.

While she had turned it on with all the intentions of channel surfing until she hit the 24 hour shopping network, whatever channel it had been on when she first turned it on was interesting enough.

If only because of _who_ was on there.

* * *

_This week, on Home!_

"What the… he--"

"Home! Home we need you in here, and none of your wise cracking shit, we're losing her!"

"Wha…? Oh snap, this again."

Shego looked dejectedly toward the frustrated darker skinned woman whose name she didn't know nor cared to know. Her convention outfit had been exchanged for a ugly grey business suit that looked faded in that sort of 'this is all I can afford to wear everyday' way. Hooked around her wrist was a simple enough looking cane but the shoes that this situation had placed on her feet she could have done without.

"This again? Excuse me Doctor?"

"Doctor?"

"Are you playing dumb with me?" The now angry woman yelled, gripping Shego's arm so tight she swore she felt talons piercing her skin. Then, without much resistance from a still shocked and disorientated Shego, she found herself dragged into a dark room with a pale rather sickly appearing girl. "We're losing her and all you can do is stand there stoically and indifferent?"

"Ah…wh…I… you see."

"Well!?"

This woman wasn't even giving her time to speak! For some reason that just made her angry! Here she was, stuck in this strange strange place in this terrible terrible clothes being talked to like SHE was the jackass.

"Shutup and calm down! I have no idea--"

"You are correct Doctor, you don't have any idea… as to what you are doing!"

"Well you could certainly say tha--"

"How you even got your credentials…!"

"Have you been taking lessons from Director?!"

* * *

"!"

"EW! DAMNIT POSSIBLE!"

Kim couldn't believe her eyes, one minute she was all fine and dandy, relishing in the peace and quiet Shegaroo and Bettaroo were blessing her with (and wondering, in the back of her mind, just where they were being quiet at) and the next minute she's watching Shego on TV and spitting milk all over Bonnie and the set.

"S-sorry," Kim slurred, hastily wiping her mouth with the back of her arm while Bonnie sneered and boiled with a barely held back mixture of agitation and disgust. Kim didn't really care about the state of her best friends 'pet' at the moment though, nor the milk that was sliding down the TV screen. Rather, the fact that Shego was… on TV… On TV when she should have been in this house, THIS HOUSE!

Who the hell told her she could walk herself? Walk herself right onto a television show! This was violating so many many pet laws (oh, and that whole government law about the shooting and the killing dead thing), she wasn't even wearing her leash or her collar, and speaking of which if the thing was voice activated, how the hell did that slippery slimly ex-thief get it off--Oh this was certainly not the time to be going into detail about this sort of stuff. No, she needed to find Shego, she needed to find Shego and beat her so hard with a newspaper that the damn funnies would be imprinted on her ass!

"BETTAROO, BETTY, DIRECTOR?!" Kim screeched, yelling out all three titles of her other owned human, running through the house and leaving Bonnie to her own cursing. If Shego was gone, there was a huge possibility that she had dragged Betty with her, but the older woman was more responsible than that right?

Right?!

* * *

"No."

"What, Doctor?"

"I said, no! I'm not operating on this woman!" Shego shouted, repressing the urge to ignite her hand in that familiar blaze that would certainly get her point across better than her words would. There was no way she was going to cut up some stranger or any variation of that. In fact, she should have been trying to find some way out of this mess.

"Are you saying she doesn't need the operation our head doctor recommended?! Are you insane or have you just forgotten to take your Vicodin plus assorted drugs?"

Shego began to back away from the hysterical nurse that was approaching her with a look that should have been reserved for people in insane asylums (maybe SHE forgot to take HER assorted drugs), "No no! I wasn't saying anything like--wait aren't I the head doctor?"

"What do you suppose we do then, Home? We're out of options!"

'_On this show they're probably always out of options.'_ Shego thought wearily.

"Well?!"

'_Screw this!' _

"I've got your options right here!" Shego screamed, swinging her plasma fired hands down right onto a nearby metal table-- Or rather, this was what she WOULD have done, had not Kim's ghostly reprimanding voice yelled in her mind as soon as she'd begun to fathom such an action.

Instead, with a shudder Shego opened her mouth and allowed whatever she could think of to flow out of it.

"Here! Take this pillow, yes, this pillow right here and place it over her head!"

"Over her hea--?"

"Now put this bedpan on _your_ head like this--"

"What the hell are you--"

"Scream, scream as loud as you can in her ear!"

"I most certainly will not--"

"Whose the doctor here huh, nurse? You wouldn't know medical mumbo jumble if it hit you in the face! Now do as I say and scream!"

"What? This is not--"

"SCREAM!"

So she did, especially when Shego roared right along with her, and though she felt silly doing such a thing this was the only solution to the problem that she could think of. Anything else involved a lot of violence and a lot of explosions, things that shouldn't be shown on mainstream TV. Now, honestly, if she were still in Drakken's employment she would have been all up for a little M rated fun, but she was Kimmie's 'pet' now, and 'pets' behaved themselves when they realized they were in some deep shit.

And, unlike the last time she'd found herself an extra in a TV show, she was in some very deep shit.

The patient jerked arching off the bed as if in the throes of a seizure, and during those ten seconds that felt like an eternity Shego had thought she'd killed someone on national television, false character or not… but immediately the pale looking girl sat up and she… certainly looked a lot healthier than before.

"She's… she's cured!" Another person exploded into the room, some blonde haired male who swung his arms around like he had some sort of problem keeping his emotions in check, "The illness... It's gone!"

"You've done it again, Home!" The nurse said, adoration and praise coating her voice while Shego looked on with a sort of deadpan expression.

"Huh…" Shego mumbled, rubbing her chin, "That worked…"

* * *

"That worked?! Bullsh--"

"Bonnie!" Kim screamed, nearly flipping over the couch when she came barreling back into the living room. Instead she collided with the it, grunting as she hunched over the back, wheezing as she tried to spit out a sentence that just wouldn't come.

"Y-yeah…?" Bonnie answered, cautiously, looking toward the normally collected heroine with a look of nervous fear. She could only imagine what sort of problem was going on in the household now. If it wasn't one thing it was certainly another.

"S-she's gone… no… both, both are gone!"

Here Kim pushed away from the couch, rushing into the darkness of the far left hallway besides the kitchen area before returning with a set of keys and a sort of expression Bonnie had to begrudgingly admit was badass.

"Get up, Bonnie. We have a mission!"

"Say what?"

But Kim wasn't giving Bonnie anytime to reply. They had work to do, and when she got her hands on those two, she was gonna punish them so hard they wouldn't ever think about defying her rules again. Not only had they put themselves in danger by being out without a certified 'master' they had disrespected the order and dominance she was desperately trying to establish. She's the damn alpha, not the other way around!

Well… where the hell was this line of thinking those few weeks ago when she had allowed them to walk all over her?

Bonnie felt herself almost, literally, lifted from her position on the floor and shoved on the couch where Kim knelt at her feet, hissing and mumbling under her breath while harshly shoving her delicate feet into her shoes that had been disregarded at the door to the room she shared with Monique. Was this woman serious? There was no way in hell she was leaving this area, let alone this house! She wasn't getting in trouble for Kim or anyone else. In fact, she opened her mouth to actually tell Kim such a fact, but the words were frozen in her throat from the look that Kim suddenly tossed her from disheveled orange tinted bangs.

"You're… really mad." Bonnie said, dumbly.

Of course she was! All this work she was going through, and for what? For two people who didn't seem to respect her? She's was going to beat that respect into them when and if she got to them in time. Geez, she just didn't know how Shego did it, how she got under her skin and made her blood boil in pseudo-rage. That woman, she could be so… so… mindless sometimes in her endeavors. It was hard to stay calm in the face of repetitive situations.

"OW! That's my ankle!"

And for Director to fall for whatever crazy idea she had had? Sometimes she wondered just how the older woman could be so easily manipulated. Especially knowing that they could be wiped off the face of the planet by whoever whenever for just one toe stepped out of line.

Then, Kim paused and she slowly stood up, frowning slightly before she looked at the television. In fact, they would have been shot down, theoretically, if they had walked into the nearby Middleton television station, and even then Home wasn't filmed anywhere near Middleton. She'd seen Shego and Director, asleep in their little doggie beds, this morning. Certainly, running halfway across the state into another state was an impossible feat to accomplish without the ability to purchase a bus ticket or drive a car, especially in time for the show to start.

Kim took a deep breath and told herself to calm down, her emotions were making her irrational and she was a rational woman. Something wasn't right, or if it was right, it was certainly bizarre. Giving a quizzical look toward a somewhat nervous looking Bonnie she allowed her lips to quirk up into a mild frown.

"Change the channel," Kim said, tossing the black remote onto Bonnie's lap, who jerked when she felt the contact.

Needing no further prompt (Kim's expression alone was enough to compel her to obey ) Bonnie lifted the remote in question and pushed the 'channel up' button.

* * *

"Hiya kids!"

"Hey Karney the dog that's sore!"

"Hoo boy, I sure am sore! My body is killin' me!"

A large purple dog hobbled onto the screen surrounded by an array of children which bounced and tugged on his body.

"Hey Karney! What game are we gonna play today?" Asked a rather large toothed child.

"We're going to pla--hey get off my tail, kid--we're going to play interview~!"

"Yay! I love the interview game!" The children yelled, well, except for the one who had been told so rudely to get off the tail of the costumed character.

"Over there!" The purple colored dog yelled, pointing right at one disheveled looking citizen.

"What in the world…" Director mumbled, looking around with that one working eye and inspecting the rather simple and standard blue police woman's uniform she was suddenly wearing. "What is this magic?"

Lost in the surprise and confusion suddenly being in a new area brought and her inspection of clothes she didn't put on that morning she didn't notice the barrage of children moving in for the 'attack', not until they were right upon her, yanking on her arms and tugging on her jacket and doing all the annoying things small children often did to get the attention of someone much older and taller.

"Police, police, police!"

"Aayach!" Director squawked, trying to resist the children as they drug her toward the large costumed character. Though they were smaller than her, Director learned that there was strength in numbers.

"Hello, Miss Police Officer!" Karney greeted, waving one large paw Betty's way while holding a small notepad in the other one.

"Hell… Oh?" Director halfway greeted, frozen in her spot like a deer caught in headlights. The children continued to bounce and play around her, and somewhat on her, but they seemed to fade into the background as the large costumed character approached her. No, not costumed character… that wasn't what she saw it as, but a large… a large stuffed purple dog. "Ktch!"

"Eh?" Karney paused in his walk, that large helmeted head tilting in mild confusion and curiosity at the certainly frightened look adorning the face of the shows guest star, "You okay, Miss Police Officer?"

A shudder ran down her spine and for a moment it looked as if Director had managed to get herself under control. This wasn't real, certainly, and something unusual must have happened back at the hotel room to inspire this strange reality. That large purple dog was just some person inside of a costume, wasn't it? She'd heard of those shows, (though had never found cause or the need to watch them, as she didn't have children and wasn't a child herself) though that didn't explain as to how she'd gotten on it. So in reality the creature approaching her wasn't a giant, walking, cuddlebuddy or anything like that, no matter how much it looked like one and flopped about like one and talked like one might have possibly talked if the devil had decided to give voice to his creations--

"RAAH!"

"OW! No what are you doin', lady?! Oh, I'm so sore! Get off my ba--Ah! My arm!"

"The officer is killing Karney!"

* * *

"Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off!!" Kim yelled, slapping her hands over her face and incidentally her eyes. She'd never be able to watch that show with a straight face again.

Bonnie, who was enjoying the certainly not PG rated carnage, quickly changed the channel at Kim's command, though when she landed on the next station TV was displaying commercials.

This gave Kim enough time to recover from her embarrassment at Director's behavior and from her shock. She could only hope that whatever children had been watching the show at the time weren't suffering some sort of mental trauma from seeing Karney's tail and feet ripped off. When she was mentally prepared to leave the scene behind and move on she realized that what she had thought was the cause of Shego's appearance on Home was more than likely correct.

They were somehow 'in' the TV, incorporated into the shows (for Shego, this would have been the second time). As to how or why that had happened she could only imagine, but at least they weren't physically at the stations that recorded them (Karney and Home were recorded at two different places, this was just common knowledge). No, they were just manipulating already recorded footage and somehow interacting with the characters in that footage… or… something like that. She didn't want to really dive into the science and physics of television reality. All that she knew was that she needed to get to them and get to them fast before someone actually noticed those weren't characters based on reality they were seeing, but the actual people themselves!

This was a job for…

"What can I do for you, KP?"

"Long time no see, Wade and I would love to take the time and catch up but I got a huge favor to ask of you." Kim said, her eyes steady on the screen as Bonnie now continuously flipped through the channels in search of more entertainment. This was actually one of the most amusing things to have taken place for her in awhile, certainly it beat doing math homework.

"I'm already on it." Wade answered, shocking Kim with the smooth confidence his voice held. He already knew of her predicament? Then again, was there ever a time when he hadn't known of a crisis she was experiencing?

"Good," She answered, forgoing the question that was on the edge of her tongue. There was no point in asking him how he knew. She could already see in the background on the screen of the Kimmunicator that Wade had been watching the channel that Home had been on. He'd probably known about her problems before she'd discovered them herself. A clever kid, a dangerous kid, and one she certainly needed beyond words time and time again.

"Any good news?" She asked.

Wade made a face, an expression between intrigue and mild amusement.

Kim took that for a sign.

"Nah."

The wrong sign apparently. Though as Wade continued to work away at this computer in an attempt to solve what Kim was beginning to feel might become unsolvable, she nearly missed the sudden and intense sensation of familiarity as Bonnie stopped the television on a channel that was showing the opening of a commercial. There was… a woman there, one she'd seen recently, somewhere… somehow. Ah, and even then she looked so strange and out of place in the commercial, like she belonged and yet didn't.

"Wait, wait," Kim said, motioning with her empty hand for Bonnie to go back a channel just as she switched it in order to rediscover Shego or Betty in another career damaging show. With a scoff and some help from a glaring Kim, she did…

* * *

"I just don't know, sometimes I… just don't feel… you know?"

"…Huh?"

What happened to the freaky darkness? And the loud whining static sound? Or the room she had been in and that stupid remote that had caused this mess? Where the hell was she, why was it so bright, and who was this kid trying to talk to her in the freakishly bright yellow dress? Had she passed out and gone to hell or something? Because this woman must have been her personal Satan.

"Are you listening…?" The brightly dressed woman asked, peering at her with her strange bright green eyes from under that ridiculous matching yellow sunhat, "I'm having a crisis here."

'_As am I, Lucifer.'_

Yet, before the remote thief could respond to the loudly attired lady she discovered that the bright and sunny scenery and the fluffy blue clouds above them coupled with gentle blowing breeze wasn't the only thing off about this place.

Someone had given her a wardrobe change.

"W-w-what are you screaming for?!" The hat wearing woman asked, sounding rather confused and a little bit concerned.

Immediately the thief snapped her mouth shut while she roamed shaking hands over her attire. Sure, her face was still hidden by a strangely well placed hood that was attached to the sun dress she was wearing, but the color was a ghastly purple and the bright green sandals didn't match the ensemble at all. She was melting, the terrible clothes were burning her, devouring her flesh! And was that blue nail polish on her toes? She was getting dizzy, the world was spinning, spinning!

"You sure do look pale…" The woman commented, but the thief only paid her the barest of attention. What happened to the clothing she'd been wearing before she'd woken up in this strange place? Maybe that remote really DID kill her and this really WAS hell.

"I…I…"

"Anyway," The woman interrupted, sliding back on the mask of awkward sadness she'd been wearing when she'd first spoken with the thief, "Sometimes I just feel…not… you know, right?"

"I… what?" The thief asked, giving the odd woman a strange look of confused anger and frustration. What was this woman babbling on about and why wouldn't she go away? So disorientated she pressed further, needing something else to focus her confusion on. Anything to get her mind off what she was wearing, "Not feel what?"

"You know…"

"What?" The thief snapped, her patience eaten by agitation.

"Well, sometimes I just don't feel fresh."

"Wha…" The thief half mumbled, a little thrown off by the comment. "Fresh like… how?"

"Fresh… down there. Have you ever felt that way before?"

"….WHAT?" The thief exploded, backpedaling away from the fashion retarded lady, "NO. Oh gods, no, no!"

* * *

The rest of the commercial was suddenly drown out by Bonnie's loud howling laughter, of which earned a frown from Kim. That wasn't funny… well maybe it had been a little, and she might have been giggled at the commercial had that been the true way it was written.

"Wow, that company knows how to sell a product!" Bonnie cheered.

Kim ignored her, more focused on the fear struck hood wearing woman that was on the commercial rather than strangely 'written' script for it.

The nagging increased as Wade gave an exasperated whistle, "I know how to get them out, meet me at Firth Third Hotel, twenty-forth floor… ah, yah might want to bring your stepping shoes, it's going to be a long wait for the elevator otherwise."

"Great," Kim mumbled, reaching out a hand to grip Bonnie's outstretched arm.

"Wait, what am I going for?" Bonnie asked, or rather demanded, as she was lifted from the couch and dragged toward the door of the housing they shared.

"Pets don't ask questions, they just obey.

With a whimper Bonnie was thrust through the wrenched open door as Kim pocketed her portable 'Genius-On-A-Screen' and yanked her car keys off the hook on the wall. Yet, just as she stepped over the threshold to guide her scowling ex-rival toward the door of her car she paused, her eyes growing wide as recognition finally flashed across her face.

"I know who that was on the screen!"

Bonnie gave Kim a weary sort of look, "Some famous commercial actress or something?"

"Hoodie."

"Who-dee?"

But she was supposed to have been in jail, along with the other two fashionistas…

Shoving Bonnie into the car without caring whether she'd knocked her head on the roof (Bonnie would complain about anything to get out of this mission, best not to listen to her ramblings) or not Kim grinned.

Well, if she was out, and somehow in the… television, it didn't matter! Hoodie got out of prison, but Kim would put her ass right back in.

* * *

"_ARE YOU READY TO GET WET?!?"_

"If by wet you mean sexually…"

"Shego?"

The weary green skinned 'pet' looked out in the direction the second, more human sounding voice had come from, and it didn't take her to long to pinpoint the owner's location. After all, this place seemed to be nothing but emptiness. She was… she was trapped in a landscape of endless white. Everything was white, the walls, the floors, the… sky? Was the direction she was tilting her head even considered 'up' in a place like this?

"Shego!" The voice cried again, breaking her train of contemplation and calling out as if she hadn't already spotted the owner. Though even if she hadn't seen her she knew who it was, after all, that familiar yelling of her name in mild panic and distress was just to memorable.

"Hey Doc--"

"_ARE YOU READY TO HAVE FUN?!"_

Shego nearly leapt out of her skin when the loud ominous voice that had woken her up to this place cried out again. You know, if you thought about what it was saying in the wrong context, it could sound preeetty dirty.

"What… what is that?" Director mumbled, moving to approach the baffled Shego who was attempting to catch her breath, as she searched for the owner of the godly tone. Why was it asking these strange questions anyway? Was it expecting some sort of answer? If it was, it certainly wasn't giving them enough time to reply and that was just rude.

"Is it… is it You Know Who?" Shego whispered cautiously, earning a scoff from Director.

"No it isn't… that person and be serio--Oofmp!"

When the pain of slamming into… some sort of invisible solid wall began to fade and the sound of Shego's loud roar of laughter was no longer a loud shrill whistle in her ears Director snarled. That wasn't funny… With narrowed eyes she glared at her still giggling companion, taking the time to rub her flushed red nose and possibly smother the burning sensation of embarrassment that assaulted her.

"That wasn't… what just happened…?" Director spoke slowly, attempting to remain calm in an unusual situation. She moved forward, and then just… bam! How was she supposed to avoid what she couldn't physically see? If Shego had ran face first into the invisible wall, _she_ wouldn't of laughed.

Well that was lie, she might have giggled a little, but that wasn't the point of the matter.

"I guess you can't come any closer… maybe the show is preventing it." Shego offered, none to helpfully, since that big smile of amusement at her pain was still plastered on her face.

"The show is preventing it? The… show? Shego just what exactly is going on here?" Director was growing tired of this little adventure she had been dragged on. She should have never agreed to this, what had she been thinking? Anything described as fun by this woman was going to be out of the ordinary and possibly inappropriate.

"Show… Oh, okay okay, listen," Shego began, motioning with her hands for Director to pay attention to her and not the odd clothes they were wearing. It seemed like this place had given them summer wear, and Betty was looking just as confused as she was in those leaf and splash printed shorts and tank top. "We fell inside the TV."

Director only quirked a brow toward Shego, at a loss for words. How does one respond to that sort of comment? They fell inside the TV? The one that had been sprouting tentacles in that hotel room? It seemed plausible, after all, it would explain the wardrobe changes and the odd static that filled her head when she'd been torn away from that… large stuffed animal, but the fact that this sort of thing could actually be happening to them was scary. The villainous world had some pretty twisted by delightfully advanced technology. If she could, perhaps, get her hands on one of those evil scientist and convert them…

"Hey! Hey summer shorts, you listenin'?" Shego hissed, her eyes roaming the bland white landscape for any sign of abnormality. They probably didn't have much time before that loud booming voice came back, and Betty was off daydreaming!

"Yes, yes, continue."

"We fell inside the TV. This happened to me once before, long story short we got out, but ah… I got some good news and some bad news."

For some reason, Betty felt a sudden sensation of dread, "What's the good news?"

"Escape is probably possible. We just gotta find a portal or something on one of the shows. If we try and stick together it'll be easier and we'll be home free and out of this place."

"Well," Director said, feeling a little calmer and rather pleased, "That sounds delightful…"

"The bad news is…" Shego began, before she coughed and rushed her words, "Who ever is watching TV can see us, which means that Kimmie can probably see us and by now she must know that we hacked the collars and left the house without permission."

Goddess, that was one long sentence, she needed to catch her breath!

Meanwhile, a pale Betty only stared forward, looking at Shego and yet seemingly staring through her, "I don't mind living here for the rest of my existence, perhaps we should just remain." Because if Kim didn't kill them for this retarded stunt, the law enforcers would.

"Nonsense. If we're lucky nobody important will even recognize us--"

* * *

"Hey, bag of bones!"

"What is it…?"

When Minerva had asked to come over, Ivy had thought she'd just stop by and leave, not stay for several days and agitate her into an early grave. Didn't she have a Casanova husband or something she needed to be looking for? Exactly when did she plan on leaving… Ivy swore she'd been looking at her face for about two weeks now, she was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable waking up with that woman hovering over her all the time. She wasn't her husband… why wouldn't she leave!?!

"You should come see this." Minerva implored, motioning a hand over her shoulder that meant for the older Director to hurry it up.

"No thank you, I'm busy." Ivy replied, shaking the newspaper she was scanning to make sure she was getting the point across to her unwanted guest as she took a sip of her 'spiked' coffee. "You know this is my quiet time."

"Oh hell," Minerva groaned, shifting on the massive leather armchair she had confiscated as her 'throne' to stare over the back toward the companion she was mooching off of, "If you don't come, you're going to miss it."

"I don't like to watch TV, and I don't even know who told you you could drag that chair and that idiot box into my kitchen! You don't live here! Did you forget? Go home, go home!"

"You're kid is on TV." Minerva suddenly said, deadpan and serious, despite the fact that Ivy twitched upon hearing the news and she certainly could have pressed the subject.

In fact, Ivy almost whipped around in her chair from the breakfast nook, but managed to stop herself fast enough. Instead, she took a slow sip of her coffee and acted as if the news didn't bother her on any particular level.

"Oh…? Which one…" Ivy asked cautiously, knowing that Minerva was grinning rather sadistically behind her back (or imagining that she was, anyway).

"The one whose supposed to be slaughtered on site," Minerva replied, smoothly, lifting a hand to inspect dirty fingernails in an attempt to appear cool and collected, despite the fact that she was rolling about in glee on the inside, especially when Ivy spit out the coffee she had went to sip all over her expensive counter and newspaper. "I wonder how she even got there… Oh, there's my little Shelly too! Is that Possible girly with 'em?"

Of course the question was never answered as Ivy barreled forward, gripped the back of Minerva's chair and shoved it so hard to the side that it tipped over on its two legs with Minerva still in it and buried her under it.

"Oh. Yeah, that was the proper reaction." Minerva groaned from under the heavy piece of furniture, her tone thick with sarcasm.

Yet, the older Director wasn't hearing her, only staring forward at her only daughter while she grinded her teeth and idly thought: '_There is going to be… so much paperwork.'_

* * *

Shego's speech was interrupted by a sudden shudder that ran down her spine. What was that? She had this strange odd sensation… Guh, no no don't think about it.

"A-anyway, I'm sure we'll be fi--"

"_THEN GET READY FOR ACTION!"_

"Holy hell!" Shego screamed, hands leaping to her Hawaiian shirt covered heart, "Does it have to yell so loudly?"

Director would have replied had she not been so distracted. One minute she was lifting her hands and the next they were suddenly full, holding a rather goofy and cumbersome fat rifle structured gun.

"What are you doing?!" Shego asked, her eyes darting around the landscape which was now covered in odd tie-dye swirls. The background was changing! Suddenly there was green grass beneath her sandal sporting feet as far as the eye could see and a bright blue sky above them.

"I didn't say yes to any of those questions so don't ask me!" Director replied, hefting the large gun upward for inspection. It looked… plastic, was it fake? There was a barrel on the top of it, full of possibly water… This was a water gun?

"_THE NEW OTHERWORLDY-DRENCHER 1000 ABXC-YO MAMA X 2!"_

"Oh no, this isn't what I think it is, is it?" Shego asked, though she was more or less talking to herself as Director looked to the sky for guidance from the mysterious voice. If this was going where she thought this was going… no, impossible, it's not like Betty would actually go along with it or anything.

Right?

"Hm…" Director hummed, glancing back down to the gun at her hands and the target across the way--No… Shego, who was standing across the way from her. Is this why she hadn't been allowed to approach her earlier?

"_WITH NEW ULTRA EPIC HAND PUMPING ACTION--"_

"Yeah that doesn't sound perverted or anything…"

"_AND OVER INFINITY FEET SPRAY ZONE!"_

"Infinity… feet?" Director mumbled slowly, to make sure she'd heard correctly. This was a commercial, by now she had figured that much out, but what sort of lies were they telling children these days? Infinity feet isn't even a measurement!

"_SPRAY SPRAY SPRAY!!!"_

"Don't even think about it…" Shego growled, her expression darkening as she put on her very best attempt at intimidation, but the older woman across from her only gave her the oddest of smiles, something sly, something mysterious, and Shego might have even gone so far as to say mischievous. She was… she was wearing one of her smiles!

"Shego…" Director purred, she… she purred! Now Shego was really getting worried, especially when Betty began to power up the fat looking water gun, "I mustn't disobey the voice."

"You got to be kidding me," Shego whispered, lifting her hands in the universal motion for surrender. She had to get out of there but there wasn't anywhere to run! Well, she could try running off into the fluffy bright looking space around her, but she had a feeling she'd slam head first into the same invisible wall that was keeping Betty in place. Maybe, just maybe, that wall wouldn't let the water she sprayed out of it?

"_FEEL THE POWER BURST ALL OVER YOUR OPPONENT!"_

"What?" Shego hissed, eye twitching. Now _she _was curious about the mechanics of the commercial. Were they trying to sell a children's toy or something else?

"Oh, I'm going to feel it." Director muttered taking the time to place some rather expensive looking shades that had suddenly appeared settled on her head over her eyes, before she hefted that large gun in both her hands up and aimed the small scope toward Shego. "Aim and…"

"_FIRE!"_

Shego had never felt so humiliated, so angry, so… so cold and wet in all her life!

"STOP!"

'_Now this…' _Director thought smugly as she watched Shego squirm and screamed like a small frightened child from behind black tinted sunglasses_, 'Is fun.'_

------------

"I could use an Otherworldly-Drencher…"

"You barely leave the house much, Wade. What would you need it for?"

On the other side of the Kimmunicator screen Wade pouted, putting on a face of mock hurt, "I might want to drench someone…"

Bonnie only groaned, tapping her foot impatiently as she stared at the massive line that had formed at the elevator. Though it wasn't just the line for the elevator that had her all agitated and annoyed, but it was what the people were wearing around her. It was like watching some sort of… circus freak thing going on, and most of the stuff these people were wearing didn't even fit them. Just because it says one size fits all doesn't actually mean one size can fit all!

Forcing herself to ignore Bonnie and their surroundings Kim kept an eye out for anything suspicious, like police or… more prison escaped villains. It was one thing to do a rescue mission, but it had been awhile since she'd been on a tight schedule like this. She had to somehow free Shego and Director from the television before someone important went 'hey, those two actors sure do look like those people we're supposed to be eradicating'. Geh, if only they were right here right now, she'd give them such a beating…!

"A-a-ah! A-aooowwww!" Bonnie winced, noticing the increasing tight grip Kim held on her arm. She was going to break her delicate bones! This was already going to leave quite the bruise, and the place where she'd bumped her head on the car door was already going to leave a huge bump! Was she trying to injury her or something? Sure she'd seen Kim mad before, but not like… this type of mad. She hadn't known the perfect princess was capable of real emotion other than (what she believed to be) false concern and fake humbleness.

"Tsk! Sorry," Kim said.

She sure didn't look sorry.

"Are we really going to have to wait here? It's been like, thirty minutes."

"We've only been here for at least ten, Bonnie." Kim grunted, squeezing each syllable out between clenched teeth. Why had she brought her again? Had she been so blinded by her emotions that she'd had some sort of lapse in judgment? Naturally, everyone else was busy with their jobs and the ilk but she could have picked some better backup. Actually, no backup might have been better backup. "How exactly are you getting to the twenty-fourth floor, Wade?"

After all, the boy genius was still in his home, slurping his drink and watching the television for signs of ex-villains and ex-organization owners.

"Hm? Oh, I'm not really going to be there, you know, physically and all that. To many people there for my liking, I would have had to take the stairs! Heh heh."

"But you said…?"

"Meet me there? Right, I'll be there, on the screen on the device that will help you get Shego and Dr. Director free."

"I should have known," Kim groaned.

"In other news, about your little extra person…"

Giving Bonnie a firm yank to make sure she'd stop trying to squirm away from her, Kim enhanced the Kimmunicator screen as Wade began forwarding newspaper clippings dated two days ago. At first she was confused, until she read the headlines each clipping depicted in black bold letters.

"A prison break?" Kim asked, bringing her gaze off the headlines and more or less toward the photos beneath them.

"Literally. They completely tore down the place." Wade replied, enhancing some photos of the buildings destruction before bringing the screen back to display his face. "Seems like most of the escapees were caught before they crossed the gate, except…"

"Hoodie wasn't caught. What of the other two?"

"Looks like they didn't have similar luck."

Well that was good, at least. It would be easier to track down one former fashion thief, but the three of them together might prove to be a challenge without competent backup. In fact, she wouldn't have put it past Bonnie to subconsciously _help _the villains had it come down to it. Yet, even though there was only one currently escaped from prison villain on the loose she still planned on stashing Bonnie somewhere before the action started. If her former rival got hurt she was sure Monique would hurt her and then some to make up for it.

The dynamics of _their _relationship was still a little beyond Kim's comprehension and the more she thought she understood the more she thought she'd be better off not wondering what was going on between her best friend and Bonnie.

"Then we'll have to rescue her from the television too."

"Only to place her right back in captivity, yup." Wade finished, frowning slightly at the flickering images on his wide screen television before his lips quirked up in a mild half smile. "Anyway, it looks like you might have to take the stairs. Here, I'll give you something to listen to in the meantime."

Craning her neck so that she could see over the particularly tall cat-man dressed person beside her, she searched for the glowing red lights that would signify the stairwell was nearby, "Gotcha, Wade. I'll put you on speaker when we get to the stairs."

Despite Bonnie's protests as Kim began to drag her toward the large imposing steel door, Kim continued to move with all her might and determination. It was best if she got to the three of them as fast as she possibly could, even with her squalling burden. This sort of scenario seemed painfully familiar in more than one way and the longer she stayed in this building with this oddly dressed wannabe foes, the more she felt like she might run into those that might be the real deal… and they might recognize her.

'_The famous Kim Possible, at a villains convention?'_

She would have felt more at ease if she'd worn some sort of disguise but that hadn't worked out to well the last time and there was no way Kim was wearing the same costume twice. That was just asking for recognition.

"My body isn't freakish like yours! I won't be able to handle all these stairs!" Bonnie wailed, trying her hardest to yank and lean further away from the woman who held her arm in a surprisingly unbreakable grip, "Let go of me, Possible! I'll just wait in the car!"

In the end, Kim yanked open the door and only gave Bonnie a rather coy look, "But Monique told me: 'Take Nie-Nie for a walk whenever you get the chance.' I'm only doing what I was asked."

Unable to retaliate, as she wasn't sure if Monique had said such a outrageous thing or not, she found herself flung into the stairwell and could only watch helplessly as the large metal door slammed shut behind them and what looked like an endless amount of stairs rose before them.

"And this is more than enough exercise for you too, don't you think, Nie-Nie?"

"Screw you, Kim, screw you."

* * *

"Hello there, I'll be your host Take Advan-Tage Oftheweak. Are you guys ready to play some Agreement or No Agreement?"

When Shego had finally stopped cringing and the odd sensation of being completely and totally drenched disappeared, she had thought that Director had ran out of water to soak her with. At this thought she cracked open her eyes and stopped flinching and cowering, intending, for all purposes, to tackle the woman across from her, invisible wall be damned. Yet, when she opened her eyes, it wasn't the terribly sunny landscape of the water gun commercial that greeted her, but an audience of screeching people and a lone standing man on a pedestal. She was standing on a sort of pedestal too, but before her stood a skinny podium with a large red button in the center surrounded by a square glass box.

"Crap."

"Let's all give a warm welcome to our lovely victiom--er contestant… ah… what is your name exactly?"

"Kill me now."

"…Miss Killmenow!" The show host cried out loudly, inciting a rather loud and obnoxious cry from the folk surrounding them. Apparently, to Shego's disappointment, her sarcasm had flown right over his head. In fact, after introducing her, he seemed somewhat oblivious to her presence, instead giving his tie the most minor of adjustments the show host would motion behind him, toward what seemed like twenty-one suitcases. Suddenly it was eerily silent, as the crowd abruptly shut up and all the attention seemed focused on the people holding those cases.

Wearily Shego shifted her own attention toward the cases and away from the bright red button in front of her, which reminded her more of something you'd push to make something go boom (she almost wanted to lift the glass case and try the button out. Maybe it would make the show host explode…).

"Before you are twenty-one suitcases held by my lovely assistants! You must choose a new suitcase each new round! At the end of each new round I'll pick up a nonworking phone and pretend to talk to someone very important in the large intimidating sound booth above my head--"

Here Shego leaned forward, straining narrowed eyes toward the booth in question with what looked like a back cut-out cardboard figure placed in the window. Was that supposed to be the shadow of a person or something…?

"And give you a random amount of money that you may or may not want to agree to taking home with you giveortakeaftertaxes."

"Excuse me…?" Shego mumbled. She didn't quite catch the last part of what he'd hastily mumbled.

The show host continued, "Now inside each suitcase is a random object which cost a random amount of money. It could be a five dollar toothbrush or an expensive one-hundred dollar tea set."

Here Shego scoffed. She could almost tell who was holding what by how much they were straining to keep the suitcase steady in their grip… Wait a second there, did she recognize--

"Miss Killmenow!"

Shego jerked, her gaze tearing away from the team of suitcase holding people toward the overtly happy game show host, "Y-yeah?"

"Are you prepared to pick your very first suitcase? This suitcase will stay with you the entire time you play and at the very end, if you don't want to switch out any of the items that are still hidden in the suitcases with an agreement you can open the one you choose and keep it!"

'_But why would I keep the item and not the ridiculous money offering?'_ Shego thought suspiciously, but only nodded. This wasn't real anyway, best not to think to deeply about the game show since she wasn't actually keeping anything that she won from here. She just had to bide her time until she found herself thrust at another show on a different channel, or until she ran into Director.

Hopefully, this time, they'd end up in one of those 'call me now for your free sexy talk' commercials. Yes, that would be very appreciated.

"Well? Miss Killmenow? Pick your first suitcase!"

"Alright, alright," Shego muttered, narrowing her eyes back upon the suitcase holding team. If she just picked the person who seemed the most strained up there, than she'd have the heaviest suitcase with her. Heavy usually meant expensive, unless one of those people up there was holding onto a set of keys to a house or a car or something…

"I pick…" Shego started, lifting a finger to scan it along the three rows of seven people, only to suddenly stop, "Twenty-one!"

"Hm? You pick suitcase Twenty-one?" The show host asked, attempting to draw Shego's venomous look his way, but she seemed focused rather intently on the young woman holding the twenty-first suitcase.

And for good reason too!

"No! I pick the person behind the suitcase." Shego scowled, stepping down from her pedestal to storm past the one which held the flabbergasted show host.

"Snap…" Hoodie mumbled, she should have known she'd be recognized sooner or later. After all, she had been the only one on the stairs wearing a hood supported dress. That and she wasn't exactly struggling with her number marked suitcase. Thinking that she might have been able to hide from the former thief by trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible had actually worked against her favor.

"Hey wait, what? You can't go up there!" The show host cried out, leaping down from his own pedestal in an attempt to catch his green skinned contestant, but she was moving so fast and mowing down the other women on the stairs! He was actually dodging falling ladies.

Shego just ignored the screams of fear and terror that echoed around her as she tossed and shoved protesting suit case holding women out of the way. They'd be fine, the fall wasn't _that_ far. "This is all your fault, you remote thief! I don't know how to hell I'm going to get out of here, but until I figure it out I think that I might feel better if I pound a solution out of you!"

Hoodie only smirked (despite the danger storming it's way up the stairway toward her), tossing her relatively light suitcase behind her, and ignoring the meaty sound that came as it collided loudly with the face of the camera man hiding there. "Bring it on you green skinned has been."

Then, with a roar of fury Shego lunged, crossing that small space between the pair to slam heavily into her enemy and the body of them tumbled off the main line of site and into the audience and several cameras--

* * *

"Okay well, looks like we got a little information, especially if Shego is blaming our neighborhood escapee for the situation… Remote thief?"

"I wouldn't know anything about it, Wade…" Kim sighed, glancing behind her to the sight of Bonnie stretched out on the elegant carpet covering the floor of the hotel's twenty-fourth floor. Poor thing had barely made it past the second story and Kim had had to carry the useless girl the rest of the way. If anyone should have been tired it was her, who did she think she was flopped out and panting like SHE had had to carry her the entire way?

"I…I thought I was going to die." Bonnie groaned, rolling over and attempting to curl into a ball, and she might have succeeded had not Kim suddenly yanked her up and off the ground.

"Got to keep moving, Bonnie, we're almost to the room and we're pressed for time." Kim said, putting on a forced cheer, but even as she moved toward the appointed area Wade told her about all she felt was a growing dread and displeasure. Dealing with Shego and Director after this would be no walk in the park, sure, but it was recapturing Hoodie that had her most on edge. There was no doubt in her mind that she'd catch her, especially if Shego and Director helped out and Bonnie stayed in a corner somewhere, but was there a way she'd be able to get the former fashion thief to keep her mouth shut about this little messed up situation? If the government found out they were trying to cheat the laws in any way would they come after them? She couldn't afford to have the government watching their every move, especially since weird things had started happening at the household ever since she'd become guardian of those talking blocks of wood Ron kept insisting were ancient majestic animal talismans (which was true, but really her encounter dream with the fox one still had her a bit on edge about dealing with them). Torture wasn't her style and she certainly wouldn't do that to keep Hoodie's mouth shut. That was more Shego's style anyway…

'_One problem at a time…'_

"Did you hear me?" Bonnie complained, wrinkling her nose with contempt. She swore that sometimes Kim would just get lost in this little Kimmie World and not pay attention to a thing she was doing! Where was Monique? She wouldn't have drug her all the way out to the middle of nowhere with a bunch of freaks and treated her like an invalid.

"Hush!" Kim growled, stopping before the room where Wade had told her to wait and she didn't wait long before a small toy race-car came into view as it rushed down the hall. When it was close enough it began to twist and spinning to a halt it parted at her feet. Within the trunk was held a slender blue colored device that looked like a video game controller and beneath that a shiny and smooth keycard. On the Kimmunicator Wade's voice picked up again, as he changed the television channel in search of Kim's missing companions since the game show had gone to commercial.

"Time for action then." Kim said, picking up the keycard and the controlling before swiping the key and listening for that little beep the hotel doors always did to let you know it was okay to enter.

"You don't sound all that enthusiastic." Wade commented, his voice for his partner, but his eyes on the television.

"I'm saving my excitement for when the fireworks start." Kim mumbled, pushing the door open cautiously only to find the room empty but the television on and loudly blaring out the tune to some children's sing-a-long.

"Well then I advise you get ready for it. Aim the controller at the television and turn to channel twenty-seven. When I say go, push the start button in the center and step back!"

* * *

"Yeah, just laugh it up, 'Oh everything is a suuuch a big joke, it's not like this situation is serious or anything'."

No matter how sore Shego was or how moody she might have been Director just couldn't stop laughing. This was to ironic, to sweet of an image, to just not stop and enjoy. Never had she wanted to be in possession of a camera so strongly. This was a memory she wanted to preserve forever.

"Y-you remember what I said, correct? What I said when we first got to the convention?" Director asked, though she had trouble getting the words out between her laughter. Her stomach was cramping and she was forced to hold onto it. Maybe laughing to much and to hard was a bad thing, but she'd suffer the consequences later.

"I could really hurt you right now," Shego warned, but it wasn't heeded by the laughing Director, who was using the nearby railing for support. Maybe she'd laugh herself to death…

"Now… now you really DO look like the Brainteaser from Manbat!" Betty barked out, leaning over and attempting to smoother her giggles by placing a hand over her mouth. Was this an effect of this particular world? This crazed infectious laughter? It couldn't be, otherwise Shego would have been laughing too. Maybe if Betty could find a mirror and show Shego her own reflection she'd stop scowling so hard in her direction.

"That's because I AM the damn Brain--Grr, we don't have time for this! Please, please let the channel change!" Shego pleaded, thrusting her gloved hands up toward the sky as she attempted to implore mercy from the television manipulating gods. Honestly, Shego didn't thin her outfit was that bad, the green pinstripe suit really wasn't any different from what she had started in and the top hat and cane were a nice fix and made her appear as if she were worth a few bucks. Besides…

"Least I don't look like a damn clown," Shego growled, giving up her attempt at beseeching the channel changing science making her day a living hell and instead focusing her frustration on her face painted partner.

"Hey now," Betty snorted, Shego's comment having sobered her up slightly, but not quite, she just couldn't keep off the odd grin on her face, "This disguise is still better than what you had me in… and what you are wearing now."

Shego took the time to look over her partner, "Lair," Shego huffed, "Your outfit isn't much better."

Gloved fingertips toyed with the lapel of the green vest worn over her purple blouse. Betty just didn't appear as formal as Shego did, that's all, with only a pair of simple slacks, a purple tie, and dress shoes completing her ensemble, "Don't hate."

"Aren't you a little to old to be saying hip things like that?" Shego sneered, snapping one of Director's hanging suspenders from her pants and causing the older woman to swipe at the green hat on her head.

"Okay okay, I'll stop laughing at you." Director said slyly.

"I don't believe you." Shego replied, deadpan, but continued speaking nontheless, "I saw the remote thief on the last show I was in but when I managed to snag here I was suddenly transported here… with you."

"Do you think we all need to be together to return to reality?"

"I don't know, I just wanted to ring her neck." Shego growled.

"Ring whose neck? You could barely catch me as it is."

Two heads suddenly snapped up toward the source of the newest voice, which seemed… rather dark and low, ominous even. It was the sort of voice that was meant to strike fear into the hearts of those it addressed, but coming out of the feminine figure on the rooftop just made it seem weird and awkward.

"Is that… is that her?" Director asked, scooting a little closer to the Brainteas--er… Shego.

"I… think so. She's dressed like the Manbat. How sadistically ironic." Shego pouted, "I could have made a better one."

"Yes, I'm sure." Director said, but she seem very convinced as the outfit didn't look all that good on their remote thief as it was. In fact, the thief just looked silly, like she was dressed in black pajamas and armor and that mask with those huge horn like ears wasn't very appealing. Just imagining Shego in that though, caused the former organization leader to giggle again, but it was a sound quickly squelched when Shego tossed a well placed glare in her direction.

"Hey now," Hoodie scowled, "I didn't ask to be placed in this terrible get-up."

"Doesn't matter!" Shego yelled, brandishing her cane as if the object were a sword, "We duel tonight!"

"We do?" Director asked, flabbergasted. Did she even have any weapons on her person? Looks like plan ol' fists would have to do.

"Let's finish this then, once and for all!"

* * *

"Fire!" Wade screamed.

Immediately Kim pressed the slender black triangle shaped button which she assumed was the start on the controller (she wasn't all that big into video games herself, but had seen Ron and Shego play them plenty enough). What she expected couldn't have prepared her for what happened next however, as a bright white beam of light shot at the television and engulfed the entire room in a sort of strange fluoresce glow. The sound that had been on the television suddenly shifted into the loud obnoxious sound of static and Bonnie's scream of fright was nearly drowned out by the sudden _crack _noise that filled the area. By this point Kim had already dived to the side, having not forgotten what Wade had told her about getting the hell out the way, and it was a good point she had, for what crashed into the room through the TV was three people, all of which were probably a little to heavy for Kim to withstand being smacked into with.

"Ouch!"

"What are you yelling ouch for? I'm the one that took most of YOUR WEIGHT!"

"You shut up, thief. You should be glad I'm even gracing you with my weight and not my fists!"

"Actually, if you don't mind, the both of you are on top of me and I can barely breathe."

For awhile, against the wall, Kim watched the three of them, all tangled up in each other, attempt to dislodge one another. Well, Director was attempting to dislodge herself while Shego and Hoodie wrestled and attempted to fight. It would have been an amusing sort of scene had not Kim been reminded of why this was even happening in the first place.

"I think I'm going to tie you both to a post out in the yard so that you can think about what you've done."

At the sound of Kim's voice Shego froze, only to grunt shortly afterwards as Hoodie's fist connected with the side of her face and thus she was forced to roll off of the smaller woman, who only then rolled off of a flattened Betty who remained against the floor as if she might be able to melt through it and avoid the consequences they were soon to face. Hoodie herself only stopped once she'd sat up and realized that she too, was in trouble, if only due to the fact that Kim Possible was in the room and her only exit was blocked by a scowling brunette.

"Ah, Kimmie! My princess, my pumpkin, my master! Have mercy on your lowly servant…" Shego purred, attempting to change that rather angry look that was directed at her into a blush or something a little more positive, but it didn't seem to be working.

"Oh, don't worry Shegaroo--"

To hearing Shego called this name Hoodie couldn't keep off the smug grin that showed itself under the hood of her jacket. Ah, her original clothes! It was good to be back in them, even if this situation wasn't actually good to be in itself.

"I'm not going to ask you how you got out here or even why you are and Bettaroo are dressed like that. I'm going to take care of the escaped convict in here first and then all three of us are going to have a nice long 'training' session far from human ears."

Now normally, that would have sounded perverted and perhaps Shego might have looked forward to the event, but hearing it out of Kim's mouth now, while she was looking at her with that dark expression of determination only made her blood run cold.

Hoodie, who wished to have nothing to do with this freakiness, suddenly leapt to her feet, "I'd love to stay and give you the chance to do that, girly, but I really do need to leave."

However, before she could get far enough to bowl over the shaking Bonnie and make her escape she could herself tripping over the floored Betty, whose firm grip on her ankle didn't let up, even after Hoodie had fell due to her fast action.

"Oh no. While I didn't doubt the fact that I'd be punished for following after Shego eventually, you hastened that." Betty whispered harshly, "If I'm going to be humiliated and suffer, then you'll suffer as well."

Though Betty knew she should have, perhaps, said something more along the lines of capturing her for justices sake, she found herself unable to shake the sensation of wanting vengeance for what she'd soon have to go through, something that might have been avoided had Hoodie never stolen that silly remote from Shego even the first place.

She didn't want to think that maybe she was just spending to much time under the green skinned woman's influence and was picking up bad habits.

Bonnie had had enough of this, and she was tired of standing in front of the door and watching this little fiasco, "Can we go home now?"

Having almost forgotten Bonnie was there (which was odd, since Kim herself had drug her out of the house against her will) Kim jerked, but with a sigh and a smile she nodded. No matter how angry she might have been at her two 'pets', she still wouldn't deny the fact that she was glad she'd gotten to them before any sort of government forces had. That and she was relieved that they were okay, but she wouldn't say anything about it.

"Yes, let's go home, before something else weird happens."

* * *

But even if she wasn't thinking about it, something weird did happen.

Maybe she was just a magnet for weirdness…

"W-what do you mean you can't take her back?"

"Sorry, Ms. Possible, but until the prison is rebuilt we're pretty backed up everywhere else." The officer sighed. All he'd wanted to do was drink his coffee and watch the game, but no, instead he was here, filling out paperwork and trying to figure out where all the escaped convicts were going to be placed until they could rebuild their central prison, "There's not even any room in a cell here at the station right now…"

Kim was beside herself with frustration, "Then what are you going to do about her?"

"Does that mean I get to go free?" Hoodie said smugly from the ugly plastic orange chair she'd been forced to sit in, handcuffed hands placed upon her crossed legs, "I promise to be good."

"Hell no." The officer answered back, only to glance at the green skinned woman who had answered at the same time with the exact same words that was standing, leashed, to the super heroine.

"A-anyway…" The officer continued, tearing his gaze off the strange sight to address Kim, "I just have to think of a place to put her, but that could take months, even years, and she can't just sit there."

"This judicial system is flawed…" Betty commented, earning a glare from the officer. He didn't need any collar wearing women telling him what was flawed and what wasn't!

"Couldn't we just stick her somewhere in Global Justice?" Kim then asked, staring at the other leash wearing woman in her entourage.

"I'd say yes but… I'm currently not in power, and nine times out of ten… we're filled up with more of the unaccounted for escaped villains than the police are. I could try and contact Will about it though when we get home." Betty said, looking hopeful.

Kim wasn't having any of it, "No, I have plans for when we get home." She wouldn't let Betty make up an excuse to worm out of this punishment!

"I came as soon as I got off work…. Ah, quite the party going on in here."

Only a glance was spared toward Monique, who Kim had called to pick up Bonnie, who looked restless and was only agitating several officers by trying to enforce a 'no wrinkled clothes' and 'fashion police' policy on the rookies huddling in a nearby corner.

"Sorry." Kim greeted, "About dragging out Bonnie. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Never seen you as much of a thinker, girlfriend. You're more the action type right?"

If Monique was making poor in taste jokes, than she must have been fine. Kim relaxed but soon sighed afterwards, suddenly reminded of her problem by the snorting coming from the orange plastic chair at her back.

"Who let you out?" Monique suddenly asked, though it was not really a question meant to be answered especially considering who it was directed toward. The last time she'd seen Hoodie had been at the undergrounds clothes ring. She hadn't expected to see her so soon looking so chipper and pleased with herself. For some reason, that made Monique feel rather… displeased.

"I let myself out," Hoodie sneered, seeing no harm in answering, especially since it seemed as if she was about to be scoot free due to some flawed judgment and over stuffing occupancy on the laws part. In fact, she was feeling more than pleased with herself and her situation. She had great luck!

"She escaped from prison," Kim explained to her friend, whose frown was only deepening, "The place where she was at burned down and there's a little bit of a vacancy issue. They can't find a place to stuff her."

Shego had a few good places they could stuff her, a trash bin or the trunk of a car was some good suggestions but she was in enough hot water and decided to keep her mouth shut on the subject.

"Well… there is something we can do." The officer offered, glancing up from his paperwork to look toward Kim with an odd expression.

"I… oh no… no!" She had enough to deal with, her plate was full, and she had a bad feeling at what the officer was going to suggest.

"Well, really you are a very well liked and well trusted figure here, Ms. Possible, and your are currently living at an estate with enough room to accomidate--"

"No way, no way at all. It's so not the drama."

"I think you should do it," Monique suddenly cut in, narrowing her eyes toward Hoodie who gazed (Monique assumed she was gazing back at her, but it was hard to tell with that damn hood over her face) back in her direction defiantly.

"I'll take this one off your hands for you, sign her over to me."

"W-what…" Kim stuttered, thrown off balance, "I don't really think you have warden credentials, Monique."

"Don't worry about it, buddy. This wild one here ain't so different than Nie-nie."

"I beg to differ!" Hoodie exclaimed, but no one was paying her any attention anymore.

"What's going on?" Bonnie asked, having been banned from the corner she had been taking control over by a rather angry looking female officer.

Monique just gave Bonnie a few well placed pats to the head, "I'm getting you a playmate."

"No… no just throw me in jail! I'll sleep on the floor!" Hoodie jerked, twisting in her uncomfortable chair to face the officer now. There was no way in hell she was going home with Kim Possible and her little partner in crime. She wouldn't be reminded of how she had lost to them the first time by having to see their grinning faces everyday. This had to be a joke, she refused to be held under the power of teenagers!

"I'm really small, you know, I could fit on a shelf!"

Kim cast a nervous look between Hoodie and Monique. Did she really think this was a smart idea? If she didn't allow her home to be a temporary jail-house for Hoodie's confinement she might find the woman out on the streets under the excuse for forced parole. It wasn't like the Fashionista was dangerous, she just knew a little to much information than Kim would have liked for her to know. In a typical villainous fashion, she may go about selling that information, probably for better looking clothes.

In the end, she was forced between a rock and a hard place.

"Do you think Ron will mind?"

"You're seriously considering?" Shego suddenly asked, more curious than negative about the situation. Sure, she couldn't really stand Hoodie, but if they were going to be under the same roof this would be a good opportunity to get some revenge on having her little fun adventure ruined.

"I'm doing a little more than just considering…" Kim answered warily.

"I don't think he'll care." Even though Monique was pretty damn sure he would.

"Alright, I'll do it." Kim answered, "After all, it can't be to hard, should be just like taking care of another animal."

"Except the animal has more rights." Shego cut in.

Monique sniggered, but Hoodie didn't find the joke so laughable.

"What's going on…?" Bonnie repeated, confused beyond relief and feeling out of the loop.

"Don't you worry you're pretty little head over it." Monique grinned, only turning away from Bonnie to cosign the various papers that the officer was forcing on her and Kim.

"Do not want!" Hoodie screeched.

Tearing her eyes away from Hoodie, who was trying to bite through her handcuffs in a desperate attempt to escape the upcoming hell, Director would lean over, a little closer to Shego. "Despite what has happened…"

"Yeah…?" Shego mumbled back, trying to keep her voice low, what was it now?

"I did have fun today."

Surprised Shego could only watch as Director leaned up and away from her and return to her lazy stare at the wall, but when she was certain Betty wasn't watching she couldn't help but grin.

-----------------

To be continued...


End file.
